@gailcalled Thank you for being nice about my misspelling. As far as Carpe Diem goes. Well I have in the past resented the motto. It is taunting, my mind never shuts up and it gets in the way of the moment much less the day. It is tossed about as some lofty justification for behaving like a hooligan with out regard to others or the future, akin to the oft quoted “live like you are dying.”
@Shippy I just listened to guided meditation as well, Something similar, Remember the happy moments, etc.. It did help, my mind is unused to that type of thinking but I am sure it will get better at over time.
@Adirondackwannabe It does help to work things out in your head when you are facing real fears. I hope you make it through the storm with everything in tact. Glad to know you are prepared.
My fears are mostly in relation to me. I am my worst enemy. I am very tough on self criticism, and usually have a feeling of lurking doom. Change is hard when it is not tangible. Haha forget that change is just plain hard. Not in the moment but in consistency.
I thought if I could live in the moment. To retrieve the idealism and be able to turn my brain off of all the nagging little thoughts and cautions I would be able to make a lasting change work. But some of those behaviors I am changing get free when I let go of the leash. If any of that makes sense. I am trying to understand it too.,