@Adirondackwannabe if it is like your Christmas Tree story it annoys the hell out of me. Why must it be done right now?! My husband is very much a work before pleasure and plans must be followed. He has relaxed a little bit after 20 years of marriage, and might give in to a change in plans if I get really aggravated, but typically it goes like this, or this is what his personality really is at his core:
If he planned on doing the tree today, then dammit, it has to get it done today! If I am under the weather then fine he will do it, because he can’t waiver, can’t adjust. If something goes wrong and he is up two hours past his bed time he still won’t stop. He will make himself exhausted, weaken himself, catch my cold because of it, and have to be miserable for a week. This behavior drives me crazy.
Probably once things start going wrong I would give him a lecture, drag myself out of bed and help him.
Like I said, sometimes he will listen to me. He will delay if something unexpected comes up if I can show him some reason that makes sense to him. But, more often then not he is determined to do things as planned. I think it works best if it isn’t me trying to tell him what to do, so he feels it was his decision in a way. Like, if it were a tree, I would say I was really looking forward to doing it together and to give me a day or two when I feel better.
This sort of disagreement is basically the ongoing annoying fight in our relationship. His tendency to be inflexible on plans. One that might come up for us is he plans on washing his cars, and out of the blue friends call to have lunch out. He likes them, wants to see them, but they want to go to lunch the time he was planning to wash the cars. He will say no. No. It just stuns me. Wash the flipping cars a different day or two hours later.