@rosehips Regarding your original question I care about both, and often feel the internal conflict that presents. In fact, just thinking about how to answer you has me in a quandary. I care about being socially accepted, but not enough so to compromise my core values and certainly not enough so to deliberately slack off on things I know I am particularly gifted at doing. If and when that makes me unpopular, I’d prefer that fate to the humdrum existence of the good old boys.
@cheebdragon In my mind as well. In the interest of peace, I won’t say what it is I think you’re extraordinary at. :-)
@bookish1 Great Answer, and I am delighted for you that you have found a niche where the iconoclast is welcomed as a fellow traveler. Would that all could be so fortunate.
@burntbonez 公案 are us. Dance on.
@Daisygurl Would I sound abnormal if I admitted that sometimes in high school I did get my panties twisted in a knot? It hurt, too. Surely in your high school there was a lunch room pecking order. The jocks and cheerleaders and the socially connected occupied the primo table near the door. The nerds had their own table. The poor kids who were just socially inept and intellectually average to below were at the bottom rung of the lunchroom ladder.
If you are saying that you didn’t want to joust for that top table, then I’m with you. If you’re saying it didn’t exist, or that doing your best to sit at it didn’t have any impact on your high school social life, then I think you’re either kidding us or yourself.
@wundayatta It is true, but truth doesn’t always drive human behavior. Ephemeral values that can’t be grasped and firmly held often do.
@Coloma As do I. I always have. But it took years to come to grips with that.
@rosehips It is interesting, isn’t it. I am sure that all but a few do make efforts to fit in with their neighborhood. Those that refuse pay a high price.