The thing I remember is 9/11. My daughter was 5. I was watching all morning, because both my wife and I were home sick that day, coincidentally. We had to go pick her up at noon, and after that, I couldn’t watch the TV coverage any more, because she was watching PBS or something.
The school is pretty good at dealing with these things. They have meetings and talk about it, and there are school psychologists if anyone wants to talk privately. Plus they send home emails alerting us about things we can do and how to talk to the kids.
So we bring it up, and if the kids have questions, they ask, and I hate to say it, but it has become normal. Here is is again. My kids are teens now (or a couple months away from being a teen), and so they hear the news on their own and they ask questions about things they want to know, except when they don’t want to ask their parents because, well, their parents are their parents.
But like they say, reassure the kids about their safety. Tell them that yes, it can happen here, but it probably won’t. These things are very rare. It almost doesn’t matter what words you use. It’s your attitude. If you are calm and accepting and you aren’t freaking out, they won’t freak out. If you act all worried and scared about what they are thinking, they will get worried for you.
Kids mirror their parents. That’s the way it is. And they mirror what is really in you, not just your surface. So if this freaks you out, you need to prepare yourself to talk to your kids. And if you are calm about it and have it in perspective, it really won’t matter what you say. Kids will pick it up with their super kid radar.