@Shippy I think this is generally true “people overall listen to me less when I shout” but some personalities will, if upset, be in a state that they really can’t hear you unless you shout at them. This includes bi-polar and borderline personalities.
I find it very unpleasant but necessary to shout about as loud and fiercely as I can in those situations. I also have to work hard to keep a lid on the words I’m using and keep it otherwise clean, because I know what I’m doing and I don’t want to hurt the other person.
A person like that might not have the capacity to say what they mean either, when upset. They say something that alludes to what they are feeling. But the words that are used can be crazy and/or hurtful.
It is a chore to know they are not saying what they mean and don’t mean what they say. It’s also frustrating because that could be a time when I really could use some constructive communication and I have to do all the work to hammer through without doing any damage.
When I do break through sometimes a few exchanges can happen at normal tones, then back to crazy.
But them’s the breaks if you are in a relationship with a child, sibling, spouse, parent… who has that kind of disorder. Love teaches us strange skills at times.