Such are the lives we lead. Caught among competing pressures—what we owe to family, to significant other, to children and to our own happiness. How can we do what’s right, when happiness would lead us to do things we don’t approve of or believe in? Who does that make us? How can we be good? Can we meet society’s demands when they keep us from being happy?
I have no answers. I think you just keep on going, and hope that something happens that will break the logjam. For example, although it’s not likely nor desirable, a war could come along and break up everything. They say that where there’s a will, there’s a way. Perhaps if you keep your intention in mind, and are patient, willing to wait for years, you will find yourself where you wanted to be without having to do anything bad to get there.
Or, you may decide you can’t wait, and that the cost in terms of what others think about you or even what you think about yourself is worth it in order to have what you really really want. We all have our own personal level of comfort with what we can do and still respect ourselves. Sometimes the need for what we really want changes that level of comfort and we find ourselves doing things we never imagined we would. There’s no telling. It all depends how badly you want it.
Probably the worst choice in this arena is when you must choose between one love and another. Someone will always end up getting hurt badly. But in some cases, two people end up getting hurt badly—when you choose the love that does not feed you the way the other love does.