Mostly I just think about random bits that don’t really matter, or mean anything. Like, is one of your ancestors a pirate? A for real pirate? With a fuckin’ eye patch and buried treasure and shit? What kind of porn do you enjoy? I mean seriously? There exists porn with guys that have three dicks fucking women who have water coolers for heads. Someone has to be funding this. In a world without money, something doesn’t exist if it doesn’t make any money. Or what kind of fantasies do you have about me? If I’m at work and someone looks at me for a real long time, why? What are they imagining? And is it even worse if when I catch them looking at me, all of a sudden they pretend to be looking for something, by twitching their heads every which way like a wounded bird? I mean cmon.
But fuck man, if I were to dwell too much on ’‘what do they think of me’’ or ’‘do they like me’’ with people I care about instead of random fuckers, then I’d have to wonder the same about just everyone I’m forced to come into contact with and deal with everyday. Cuz they’re in your life. Then, who knows what kind of pirate I might become, even if I never knew any of the answers.
If nature works the way it does, and we can’t read minds or know everything, then there’s probably a reason for that. I’m cool with ignorance. Ain’t nothing a nice letter or being taken out for a fancy dinner can’t fix, amirite?