I was discussing this exact thing recently on another forum. I’ll copy & paste my answer from there:
1. I am happily partnered and have no intention of leaving him for anyone else. However I am polyamorous and open to “additional extras”.
2. You better not be homophobic, transphobic, racist or sexist. Right-wing politics and evangelical religious beliefs are not welcome. If you can’t handle a liberal atheist you can’t handle me.
3. Needy people need not apply; I don’t have the time, energy or emotional capacity to give you what you want. If you can’t bear to go a week without hearing from me, I’m not the right person for you.
4. I don’t embark on relationships with anyone who is not already a friend, so step one is to be the kind of person that I can be friends with. Once we have a friendship established, then maybe something else might develop naturally. If it doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to.
5. I was going to add a rule for “women only” but I think I will amend that to “not masculine”. There are some male types, usually the more femme or androgynous-looking ones, that I do find hot. I’m just not that interested in anyone who looks more masculine than me.
6. No jealousy, no posessiveness. I need to be free to lead my own life, see my own friends and go where I want without fear or accusations. I do not want a partner who lives in my pocket 24/7 and I do not want to live similarly in theirs.