We grow and change with each experience we have, hopefully for the better, but not always. The point is, who you are today may not be who you are tomorrow. That may change how you treat people.
The previous SO may have suggested to him/her that if they didn’t change or be nicer, then the relationship would suffer, or have to end. Since it did end, the person probably figured out that they’d have a better chance at a good relationship with the new person if they treated their SO better.
There is also the chance that they like/respect the new person more than the previous person.
My brother was awful to his first wife. He had an epiphany of sorts and treats his current (and third) wife way better than either of the others.
Another reason might be that the current spouse cherishes or respects them more and makes it easier to be kind.
Yeah, there is always the personality interaction….but that can leave one or the other feeling like they failed, somehow. And they didn’t.
Just found out today that my ex and his (3rd) wife (I was his 2nd wife) are getting a divorce after 17 years. Oddly, it made me feel a little better about having divorced him 20 years ago…..
You can’t compare the end of one relationship with the beginning of another. Everyone – with vanishingly few exceptions – treats their new love better than they treated the ex at the end of the old relationship, but all the ex remembers is “the end of the relationship” and the bad times that led to the break.
Maybe in the previous relationship he tried at the beginning but his ex was unappreciative and didn’t treat him right in return. So now he again tried at the beginning and she was appreciative and treats him right and the two care for each other more than they’ve ever cared for somebody.
Sometimes the first significant other is not the best mate. That’s why couples break up. But it takes both people in a relationship, not just one.
We had some friends that seemed destined for each other; everyone thought were great together. Everyone but them. Evidently there were some aspects to their relationship that were not apparent to the rest of us. I don’t believe either one was abusive, they just didn’t fit.