It makes me wonder if your boyfriend was taking it easy on your son.

Not a female, just want to add. If I got in a time machine, went back 15 years, and challenged my 15 year old self to a fight, I would get my ass handed to me.

I would add, that I don’t think your 30 year old boyfriend is physically weaker, a fight does not measure how strong you are. If they both enter a weight lifting competition, or a tug of war, the 30 year old will win.

I’m 6ft 6in tall, I’m about 100 kilos, and I have 15 years martial arts experience. Bruce Lee was the size of a pencil… (you can see where I am going). However, I guarantee I can lift much more weight than Bruce Lee ever could.

why in the world is THAT important?
other than ego issues for the boyfriend , unless he let the 12 year old win?
The boyfriend was put on the spot…how would HE feel had he beat the younger one
( his girlfriends brother?)
He might wonder on this and how you took it?
Let it go, until He says something.
A question for the 12 yr old….why did he take on YOUR boyfriend?

Hey I haven’t figured out how to respond individually yet.

poisenedantidote-You make a good point. Funny thing is, my son beat him arm-wrestling.

My bf strains, his face flushes, but can’t win. I’ll admit my son wrestled one year and he’s strong for his size.

inspired 2write- my son is active and likes to challenge others to physical competition. My bf, in good shape, went into it kind of cocky. Then after he lost, he didn’t say much at all. He looked like he wanted to cry afterward. Was it his ego, his manhood that feels insulted? I’m afraid if I ask him: are you embarrassed you lost wrestling and arm-wrestling to my son, because I’ll embarrass him even more. It was straight up wrestling, not a fight, but competitive wrestling. My son is just strong for his age and like his dad, competitive.

maybe he felt that your son was protecting you?
A direct confrontation from your son sending an indirect message.
maybe something like” watch out” As “I” can take you on should you hurt my mother etc?

For me, physical strength is not a factor in judging a mate.

inspired 2write- I guess its both bad and good/ Good that I have a strong son who could protect me and I’m sure would. Then, I have a boyfriend whose manhood or confidence may be hurt.

Your boyfriend has to work that out for himself.
If mature and see’s through the ruse that your son set him up for , he would understand.
Try in future not to pit one against the other.
After all you love both right?

Thank you inspired. I love them both. I was just wondering why my bf was behaving weird afterward.

He most likely was thinking more on it later?
He was trying to understand most likely.

You’re thinking this over way touch me thinks. Its an ego thing, but it doesn’t make him any less weaker. I’m sure he’ll get over it if you do :)

@dragon8052

Hey I haven’t figured out how to respond individually yet.

To respond to someone who has answered a question, type the @ symbol and a list of them will appear below the symbol.

@Brian1946 – That is only true for the full site, and not the mobile version. If one is using the mobile i.fluther.com site, they must type the @username and get the spelling, capitalization and underscores exactly right, or it won’t work as a clickable link to the user’s most recent comment – @brian1946.

Not at all.

Its hard to tell why your boyfriend is feeling this way. I wonder if he feels embarrased he lost in front of you like he lost his man card or something lol. All I know is if I was 30 and lost to a 12 year old I would be a little embarrased because of how competitive I am but as an adult I would shake it off rather quickly being that its just a game and honestly not that big of a deal lol.

To your big question of should it bother you I say no it really shouldn’t. You see physical strength has nothing to do of whether your boyfriend is a man or not. If he has his priorities straight and is a good lover,protecter, and provider, what else could you want in a man? Even if your boyfriend is weak if it wouldn’t stop him from putting himself in front of danger before you or your son it should not be a problem.

Oh and welcome to Fluther :)