I don’t know if this will translate to this Internet interface the way I want, but let’s try. I’m auditioning for Jaques in As You Like It.

Would you please look at the way I’ve marked the stresses in the following speech? All-caps mark stresses, and lower case marks unstressed. Please, tell me where you think I’ve made a mistake on the syllables or words. The line numbers, I hope, will make referencing easier in the thread.

Thank you.

1 ALL the WORLD’S a STAGE,
2 and ALL the MEN and WOmen MEREly PLAYers;
3 they have their EXits and their ENtrances;
4 and ONE MAN in his TIME PLAYS MAny parts,
5 his ACTS being SEven ages. At FIRST the INfant,
6 MEWLing and PUKing in the NURse’s arms;
7 then the WHIning SCHOOL-BOY, with his SAtchel
8 and SHIning MORning FACE, CREEPing like SNAIL
9 unWIllingly to SCHOOL. And then the LOver,
10 SIGHing like FURnace, with a WOEful BAllad
11 made to his MIStress’ EYEBROW. Then a SOLdier,
12 FULL of STRANGE OATHS, and BEARded like the PARD,
13 jealous in HOnour, SUdden and QUICK in QUArrel,
14 seeking the BUbble repuTAtion
15 even in the CANNON’S MOUTH. And THEN the JUStice,
16 in FAIR ROUND BElly with GOOD capon LIN’D,
17 with EYES seVERE and BEARD of formal CUT,
18 FULL of WISE SAWS and MOdern INstances;
19 and SO he PLAYS his PART. The SIXTH age SHIFTS
20 into the LEAN and SLIpper’d PANtaloon,
21 with SPECtacles on NOSE and POUCH on SIDE,
22 his YOUTHful HOSE, well SAV’D, a WORLD too WIDE
23 for his SHRUNK SHANK; and his BIG MANly VOICE,
24 TURning aGAIN toward CHILdish TREble, PIPES
25 and WHIStles in his SOUND. LAST scene of ALL,
26 that ENDS this STANGE eVENTful HIStory,
27 is SEcond CHILdishness and MERE ObliVIon;
28 sans TEETH, sans EYES, sans TASTE, sans Every thing.