Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.
Then find a competent therapy professional to help you discover why you are so bereft of self esteem that you would even consider the possibility of g continuing to remain wIth someone who has so little respect for you that he has lied to you so repeatedly.
I understand about your feelings love for him. They are feelings and difficult to just put aside. But a good dose of reality can work wonders. Please allow that process to happen.
You say that your hoping that it’s reciprocal and that he loves you just as much. Don’t you realize that he doesn’t even respect you ? How can love spring from that ? I’m not talking about lust, I’m referring to love. Words are cheap. He can talk about how much he loves you till the cows come home. His actions have proven otherwise beyond any doubt.
People sometimes lie about difficult issues and depending upon what it is, can be forgiven. But this was calculated and continuous deception and it wasn’t even necessary to begin with.
Marriage dates can be as flexible as the two people involved need them to be. There is no need for lies in this day and age. Shotgun weddings are a relic of the past. There is no big rush and no need to deceive somebody into it.
If you stay with him this will be the pattern of your life together. How can you ever trust anything he says ?
This man does not love you. Whatever he does call it, it’s not love because that’s not how you treat someone you claim to love. It’s not even basic respect.
Please find yourself a good therapist (for you, not for him) find some self esteem and have the kind of life you truly deserve with someone who will treat you with the love, respect and honesty which you deserve and value you as the treasure you are. t’s definitely not this guy. You have a good kind heart and deserve far better than him.
If you’re thinking he’ll change, he won’t.