Thank you all for your feedback! I’d like to clarify that I wasn’t referring to (idle) gossip. I was asking about deeply personal secrets that do not affect anyone other than the friend telling you the story (confessions along the lines of them being homosexual, having been sexually abused at some point, having had an abortion, etc). I can say for sure that if a friend ever felt comfortable enough to tell me something like that, I would never in a million years consider violating their trust by telling my SO, especially since it would have nothing to do with him and/or our relationship.
I’m a very private person and there are only two people to whom I open up completely. One of them is single and the other one just got married a couple of weeks ago. I’ve known them both for many, many years and I know they would never spill my secrets to anyone. Just the other week I was going through a situation which I shared with my married friend and it wouldn’t have bothered me in the least if she’d shared it with her husband (I know him and he’s a great guy) but she told me she wouldn’t say anything to him until I assured her it was fine by me because I would’ve liked to know his take on the situation.
On the other hand, I stopped telling things to another friend (not one of the two mentioned above) because she tells her fiance everything anyone tells her and I just don’t feel comfortable with him knowing certain things because of how he is. I cut her off when he started giving me unsolicited advice on how to get around to swimming when on my period (basically, she’d asked me to go swimming with them one day and I told her I couldn’t because it was that time of the month and I wasn’t comfortable swimming then. She obviously felt she had to tell him the full details and he, in turn, thought he’d broach the subject with me). I was totally put off by that, particularly because it wasn’t her first violation, and I haven’t shared anything with her since.
@JLeslie Excellent answer!! Like @glacial, I, too, was starting to reconsider married people in regards to their trustworthiness lol I would absolutely respect my SO’s right to keep his friends’ secrets and I would also expect the same from him. Being in a relationship does not mean you should abandon your previous loyalties, especially if your friends have been around longer than your SO.