Social Question

Cupcake's avatar

Would you donate your sperm or eggs to a biological sibling you don't know well?

Asked by Cupcake (15502points) June 25th, 2013
20 responses
“Great Question” (2points)

I was thinking about offering my eggs to a biological sibling who I have only met a few times. She is undergoing in-vitro with her (new) husband and has not yet been successful. She has older children (teens) and he has no biological children.

I was thinking that this would be a very powerful show of sisterhood. It turns out that I am likely not an eligible donor (I discovered after 1 minute of googling). The question remains, nonetheless.

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YARNLADY's avatar

Yes, I would have, but I didn’t hear much of that in my day.

zenvelo's avatar

No, I wouldn’t, not to someone I knew unless I was going to be part of the child’s life. I would completely anonymously, but not some half way known and unknown.

nofurbelowsbatgirl's avatar

When I was young I would of said yes, without even asking. Before we were actually best friends I was my friends surrogate and we did not know each other that well since he is homosexual and so without even thinking I decided to give him the gift of a baby because he wanted one badly. We tried numerous times to get pregnant. It must not of been the right time. Anyway those dreams quickly faded once we found out he had HIV. And no he never put me in any kind of danger.

But now if I were asked I’ve grown up a lot and I’ve matured. I would consider all parties involved even that of the unborn child. Which is who you should consider.

I am definitely all about equality but “something” was looking out for the unborn child that I never brought into the world. In this situation you get to be that someone.

Pandora's avatar

No. I love kids too much and would find myself too critical and regret giving them a child the moment I feel they are being to harsh or cold or demanding of the child. I may have the same feelings towards another relative child but I will say my peace and sit out otherwise. Figure it is their kid. But with my egg, I will feel I am entitled to more. So no.
To me it would be like giving a child up for adoption. Just couldn’t do it.

Brenna_o's avatar

have you thought about being a surrogate mother for her?

Cupcake's avatar

@Brenna_o No… I’d like to get pregnant myself. Plus, I think the emotional issues related to being the donor would be greatly intensified by being a surrogate.

@Pandora I was wondering that about myself. I mean, I don’t even know how she is with her current kids (I’ve never met them).

@nofurbelowsbatgirl I wonder sometimes when people can’t get pregnant if it’s a blessing in disguise. I’m not thinking that about my sister… but sometimes it crosses my mind in general.

Pandora's avatar

You could see how good you are at sharing. If you are the type of person to have a problem giving your favorite stuff away than this may not be the thing for you. Maybe you can try getting them a puppy first and see how they are in caring for an animal first. Keep with yourself for a week first. If they dote on it then you will get a good idea of what kind a parent they would make. And if you find you regret giving the little pup away and feel you should’ve kept it , than you know you are not sharing type person and would regret seeing this baby grow up loving someone more than you. I know it is not the same thing but since you don’t have kids you first have to understand what it means to be attached to a living thing.

augustlan's avatar

I would, yes.

Cupcake's avatar

@Pandora Was that to me? I don’t understand your comment. If I’m thinking of sharing my eggs, I would think I’m a very sharing person. And I have kids. Two of them.

Seek's avatar

I would donate an egg, absolutely, and be happy to do so. However, they need to find another oven for that bun. I have no desire to ever be pregnant again.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Probably. But, like @Seek_Kolinahr, I wouldn’t carry it.

LornaLove's avatar

I wouldn’t since I would be aware the child is partly mine and if we were distant I would not get to see the child nor have any say in its upbringing.

Pandora's avatar

@cupcake. In your statement to @Brenna_o, I thought you meant you didn’t have any kids and would like to have some one day. I just assumed. My bust.
So you should have an idea if you would mind giving a kid away. Even if it is an egg, it will be a life.

Mariah's avatar

Not personally because I have a genetic disease to hand down. If not for that, I’d have no qualms with it.

Cupcake's avatar

I guess part of my issue to consider is that this is a person who has come into my life (peripherally) within the last few years. We don’t live near each other and I barely know her. But the potential exists for us to become closer and see each other more often. So all of the difficulties with donating to either a stranger or a known person exist. And perhaps few of the benefits.

Bellatrix's avatar

Probably not. If I give my egg, I would feel a sense of responsibility to know the resulting child will be loved and well taken care of. If I don’t know the person/people who will receive the egg well – I would be uncomfortable going down that path.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I guess I’m cold-hearted, because I don’t see why I’d feel some inherent connection or responsibility for this child. It’s not as if I had a relationship and/or sex with the father, carried the child, or even had any intention of raising him or her. I’m not sure why having my legs in stirrups and my eggs in a Petri dish would ensure a strong unavoidable connection with the resulting baby. Of course I wouldn’t feel comfortable giving them my eggs if I thought they’d be shit parents, but the reason would have nothing to do with the baby technically being “mine.”

Seek's avatar

@livelaughlove21 – Same here. I’d give my ova to a perfect stranger. It’s just DNA. I suppose I know too well that biological similarity doesn’t necessarily equal family.

augustlan's avatar

I’m with you, @livelaughlove21 and @Seek_Kolinahr. An egg ≠ a child, to me.

Bellatrix's avatar

I don’t care about the DNA. I do care about the life the child that results from me donating an egg.

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