You get over it by realizing it is NOT about them, it is about your programming and expectations. In this economy not having enough cash for gas is a reality for many people and if they haven’t spent the last month budgeting gas for your birthday, oh well.
This is not about you, it is about them, their situation and their priorities. If they do not see your birthday as a priority maybe you need to think about what their situation is.
The most important “work” we can do as humans is to challenge our faulty belief systems such as this.
Is it really TRUE that if they do not come to see you that he does not nreally care about you?
Take the high road and tell him that you would really like to see him but understand if he can’t make it happen.
Now…IF, this is a regular thing and he NEVER makes any gestures to see you, well…up to you…you can be hurt, which only hurts you, OR, you can accept that he just isn’t going to make a big show of caring according to YOUR standards.
Not visiting someone on their birthday does not mean another person doesn’t care, it just means you are attaching waaay too much emotional energy to something that is really pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
If you want to see him that badly why don’t YOU go to him?
It is immature and unfair to set him up in this manner.