Hello again everyone.

If you are familiar with my marriage dilemma, scroll down until the bold letters, otherwise read it all or hot that back button, this is a long one.

Okay, my girlfriend is tucked up in bed, I have some free time, and I have my thinking cap on, lets see if I can find a solution to my marriage problem with the help of the collective.

Here is the situation:

In 2011, after several years of talking online, my now-girlfriend and I decided to meet up in the UK and spend a year together.

We spent about half a year together in the UK, until we run in to problems when the volunteer agency she had signed up to, started to threaten to revoke her travel visa if she did not work ridiculous hours.

Around the end of 2011, we tried to get married in the UK. 1— because like that her visa would no longer be a problem, but it was not to be, the procedure in the UK would take too long by the time we could get an appointment at a registry office.

To solve our problem, we both went to Spain, as in Spain she did not need a visa, and could stay for 90 days. We figured we could get married in Spain, and then she would be able to stay for 6 more months, until she had to go back to Taiwan to finish her university course anyway.

At the beginning of 2012, after several weeks of investigating, we discovered we could not marry in Spain without a certificate of martial status, that could be obtained only from Taiwan.

Around the middle of 2012, her visa run out and her 90 day free pass run out, and she had to go back to Taiwan 3 months earlier than planned.

We then spent about 13 months apart, while she finished her university course and planned to come back.

While she was away, I went and investigated and read up on marriage procedures and what we had to do.

I paid a visit to the local registry office, and explained the situation. The woman in the registry office told me that it would take 3 weeks to get married, once we got all the papers together and applied.

We spent the next year, getting martial status papers, having them translated and notarized, along with birth certificates, certificates of no impediment, proof of residency certificates and a whole lot more, all translated from both English and Chinese to Spanish, and presented in front of a judge to notarize and legalize.

As a backup plan, I started to investigate the church, and started the procedure of joining the Catholic church. I spent about 6 months studying catechism and going to mass. I even helped him crucify a fat preteen Jesus at 5am on Easter, and had the guy round for dinner on a Friday so he could see how I cook my fish, and eventually, he finally agreed to let me profess my faith in church, join him, and be able to marry there.

Finally, when all the papers were ready, and the priest was buttered up, my girlfriend booked a flight back to Spain, I sent her an invitation letter, and after about 48 hours of travel, she finally arrived back in Spain, mid 2013, with permission to stay until September 02, 2013.

We enjoyed our company after being apart for so long for about a week, then went up to the registry office to get things started.

This is when I was informed, that because the woman in the registry office is a lazy bitch who does absolutely nothing in August, no exceptions, that it would now take 3 months to get married, maybe even 4 months. Longer than my girlfriend is allowed to stay.

After poking around and calling some marital lawyers, we realized that we would indeed not be able to marry in court, so I headed down to the church.

After talking to the priest earlier today, and explaining my situation to him, he told me that he could marry me Sunday tomorrow, but that it would only be a religious wedding, and that yes, you guessed it, it would take 3 months to become law.

We have sent well over a year now planning to marry and trying to marry, so we kind of know what we are talking about and what we need to do, but the insane logic puzzle is making things very hard.

Here are some of the problems:

She is allowed to stay here for 90 days, no exceptions other than being certified unfit to fly by a doctor, or having refugee status.

It takes more than 90 days to get married.

To get a visa to come back for more than 90 days, she needs to already be married to me, to get a family reunion visa to come here, otherwise the visa procedure is very complicated and/or expensive, or has other limitations.

We have about $8000 bucks left if we pool in everything, and can maybe scrape 2g’s more together by the time she has to leave, so this limits our options.

Las Vegas: If we get married in Las Vegas, we will be about $4000 bucks down, but because of time shortages, if we do marry in Vegas, she will still need to go back to Taiwan, because it will not leave us enough time to do the paper work needed for Spain to recognize the American wedding.

Denmark: While we could in theory get married in Denmark within the remaining time, and we could then come back to Spain, and have them recognize the EU marriage in time, it is not so simple. My boss will not give me time off, I asked, I would need to quit my job to go. This means I would be down about 1000 bucks for the wedding, and about 1800 bucks lost in wages, as I would be quitting my job a month early. (my contract ends in September, when the tourists leave)

So, here is what we are planning to do now:

The plan is, we both go to the town hall tomorrow, and register her as living here, we enjoy a month and some days more together, then she goes back to Taiwan, and stays with a friend for 3 months. Then, while she is there, she gets all her papers together again, so the dates are nice and fresh, as they are only valid for 3 months.

Once she has her papers, and I have my papers, she applies for a visa to come to Spain for a year, so we have plenty of time to marry and settle down.

Failing that, if the visa is for 6 months or less, or she cant get a visa, then she would come for 90 days, or however long she can come, directly to Denmark, so we have have one of those 24 hour weddings, before coming back to Spain with at least 80 days to fight the system.

Once she is back in Spain, she will have been registered for almost 6 months as living here, (all legal, I was advised to do this by my lawyer), thus giving her the right to apply for residency status, even if we don’t marry. However, we will be married, with a valid, but not yet recognized EU marriage.

To cover our asses, I then go to church for the next 4 or 5 months until we can do the Denmark thing, and once she is back, I have the church marry us too, just a religious ceremony, just to have that extra security.

We spend 80 to 85 days fighting it, and once we are finally married and safe, we save up a few 1000 bucks, maybe get other immigrants to donate to us, and use the money to hire a lawyer to do some much needed head squeezing around these parts.

The question/s is…

Can you see any flaw in this plan?

Is there anything we are missing?

Why me!?!?!?

Any advice/help of any kind?

Thanks!