First of all, you’re not supposed to put the condom on when you’re soft. You should have an erection before sliding it on. This is Condoms 101 stuff, dude. I’m not sure if that’ll help with your problem, but using it incorrectly decreases its effectiveness.

I can’t really take this question seriously, to be honest. Unless you have an abnormally thick penis, the condom should fit fine. My husband and I put a regular Trojan condom over his fist and wrist as an experiment. It fit. You can’t tell me your penis is thicker than a man’s wrist. We also filled one up with water and it took up our entire sink before busting, so I don’t get why so many people have problems with those things breaking. But I digress…

@livelaughlove21 I make sure I am erect when I put it on. Seems rather impossible to put it on not erect haha. I meant after having sex for a while and if I get soft, seems hard to maintain an erection or in general.

Where as when I had it off it didn’t seem to be an issue at all.

I am not talking about the whole condom, just the ring. I mean it leaves a indent in a circle from it. Unless this is normal??

I’ll admit not the most sexually experienced person so maybe there is something I am missing.

@CuriousLoner If you do get soft, you should scrap the condom and put on a new one on once you’re hard again. It seems the bigger problem is that you’re getting soft in the middle of sex. If you’re saying the condom is the reason you’re getting soft, I’m at a loss. Perhaps it’s something you get used to.

How inexperienced are we talking? Are you young?

@CuriousLoner I am 22, but I haven’t had that much sex. Late bloomer by some peoples books.

I am still trying to figure out though is it normal to have a red indented circle where the ring would be? And this is even if I am fully erect.

I normally don’t get soft. Depends at time really. Also if it goes for longer like up to an hour, it doesn’t go completely soft like still erect, just not full hard erection if that makes sense. Maybe it is a lack of sensation or feeling.

@CuriousLoner Personally, a straight hour of intercourse sounds like torture to me. 30 minutes is about as far as I’d go before telling him he better finish or he’s on his own.

I don’t know about the ring. I’ve never heard of this complaint before. Have you ever measured the circumference? The average penis is 4.7 inches in circumference (1.5 inch diameter). They are supposed to be snug, or else it would fall off. Make sure you’re wearing it right – rolling it up all the way to the base of your penis.

I don’t know. I’m stumped.

@CuriousLoner – it’s probably different for both of you with and without a condom. Maybe ask her what she prefers? You probably want to find something that works for you though, after all, experimenting isn’t that bad. ;) and better to be prepared.

Maybe try a thinner condom instead of larger? Some brands are stretchier than others as well which may help the ring and you may feel more and get more stimulation. There are literally hundreds of different condom types, do a search online and find some likely candidates (many sites have dimensions if that’s the issue, some even make “custom” sizes) and give them a shot. The big ones are bigger around as well as longer, but they are all supposed to be tight so they don’t fall off.

If you’re using anything with a numbing agent, stop.

If they’re too tight, you don’t really have to roll it all the way down, just make sure it’s not going to come off. If there’s a certain section that’s unhappy when squeezed, just keep the ring off there if you can.

If size is the problem, lpsg.org is meant for support, not sure how successful it is at that.

Ask her what she likes, she probably has questions for you as well, and answers are different for everyone. Shockingly, people fib about their sex life, so our expectations aren’t always reality. I wish “ask her what she likes” was pounded into people as much as “wear a condom”, I think we’d all be a little healthier.

Bear in mind that a regular-sized latex condom can be stretched over the fist and down to the elbow of a 6’2” person with “Popeye” forearms (as bass players tend to have) and not left a ring. I have to say that I’m stumped too unless your unit has more diameter than most guys have circumference.

However, I think @funkdaddy raises a point about elasticity. Some of your non-latex condoms have no little/no stretch at all, and those can feel like your junk is in a noose if you’re more than ¾ normal size. That is why I stayed away from a lot of the fancy condoms and stuck with good old latex.

@funkdaddy “I wish “ask her what she likes” was pounded into people as much as “wear a condom”, I think we’d all be a little healthier.”

I know I like not worrying about unwanted pregnancies and STI’s. That might be just me, though. A tight condom seems like a small price to pay to protect yourself, especially when you get the news that you’re HIV positive.

I did some googling and appears this not too uncommon. I think ultimately my best bet is to buy some from online and see how it works out.

Thanks for input folks.

Wow, tough room.

I think saying the condoms stretch, and that everyone is the same is about like a man saying that a baby comes out of your vagina, so you should be able to essentially cram an eggplant in there for three hours. Stop obsessing about your vagina, right? Walking a little funny afterwards and being unable to achieve orgasm is a small price to pay for being safe, right?

@livelaughlove21 – Twice I suggested he find something that works for him so that he will use protection. My comment that he should ask what she likes is in reference to two things.

1) Some women have problems with some condoms. Everything from the lubricant, to the latex, to certain areas just being “grabby” after a while when rubbed against latex over and over. So, really, nothing wrong with asking her. There are solutions to all those problems, but she may think it’s normal.
2) If he’s lasting 30 minutes to an hour, she may feel the same about that as you do (or as a lot of ladies do) but it’s been pounded into men that nobody likes a quick trigger. She may love it, she may wish it was 5 minutes, so asking what she likes sounds like a good way to start that conversation.

There’s a myth that “true love” will enable you to read each other’s minds and you shouldn’t have to talk about what you enjoy, the other person should just know. Maybe everyone else had sex figured out perfectly the first time. For me, a little communication makes all the difference.

@funkdaddy I have nothing against asking your partner what he/she likes in bed. It was the wording you used that bothered me. As if using a condom isn’t as important as doing what you or the other person “prefers.” I’m sure most men prefer sex without a condom, but there are other factors involved.

And no one is saying all men are the same. We’re saying unless he’s seriously (and I mean seriously) packing, the condom should not be so tight it’s cutting off circulation.

I’ll just leave this here for whatever purpose you’d like it to serve.

Condom Myths

@funkdaddy I guarantee you nobody will read it.

to the OP – yours is an incredibly common problem.

You are using a condom that has a nominal width too small for the circumference of your erection. As a result, the latex is having to stretch too much to fit your penis. The force required to stretch the latex out, is reciprocated back onto the thing doing the stretching – that’s your penis. When the force is too high, it starts to feel tight, and uncomfortable (even painful). The solution is as obvious as it sounds.. get a larger nominal width of condom.

Sites like CondomSizer show you how to find the correct nominal width condom. And yes, the opposite problem is also really common – condoms that are too big to start with, don’t stretch enough and slip or fall off during use. Really, the idea of one size fits all when it comes to something as varied in length and girth as erections, is bizarre. It does make condoms really quick and cheap to make however. Ah, there’s why.

As for people, mostly women, saying things like “a condom will fit over my arm, deal with it” – well, this is just a kneejerk reaction caused by the topic matter (dicks). If your shoes caused this problem they’d happily suggest getting bigger shoes (some people have MASSIVE feet!).. if your shirt was too tight, then a wider neck would help (some people have MASSIVE necks!). But a penis? Oh no.. we can’t possibly acknowledge that penis could be big. I could equally say “a fire extinguisher will fit in a vagina, deal with it” – sure, it would.. it really would.. but it wouldn’t be comfortable. The arm analogy confuses fitting, with fitting comfortably. Last I checked, sex was about pleasure.. pleasure and comfort go hand in hand.. make your condom fit better, and it will feel better. When it feels better, you’ll enjoy wearing it more. Hardly rocket science.

And as for science, various clinical studies dating back as far as 1993 have all identified the issue that men have getting condoms to fit correctly. The common number seems to centre around 40–45% of men, either find condoms are too tight, too loose, too short or too long. So you’re not alone, and thankfully, not only is the solution REALLY obvious, it’s also really easy too. The average circumference of an erection is around 4.9” (varies depending on study used, but that’s the ball park).. long story short, a nominal width of about 52mm is appropriate for that. But girths vary up to 7” (and down to 3.5”).. and things like 6” are very common. But even 5.5” girth, about as common as size 10 feet (very very common), needs a nominal width of 58mm to be comfortable. That brings you onto another topic all together.. in the US, anything above 57mm is illegal by rule of the FDA. In Europe (500M people), we get up to 69mm.

Joe

disc: I make condoms

My guy has the same issue. We solved the problem years ago by becoming fluid bonded, but obviously this is not a great solution for most folks who are actively dating. If the site @funkdaddy posted had been around and we had thought to do an Internet search back when it mattered, we would have ordered some of those – looks like an awesome idea.

@joetheyfit “But a penis? Oh no.. we can’t possibly acknowledge that penis could be big.”

When exactly did anyone say penises can’t be big? The first guy I dated had a 9.5” penis that was very very thick. He wore regular condoms without issue. Not that I ever had sex with him. Ouch. Some guys have big penises – ‘tis no shocker. Too big for a Magnum XL is different. If this were the case, one might consider a career in porn.

Now, the OP never claimed to be huge. I never got the impression that he was going with the complaint of my brother-in-law: “Look at me. I’m a big macho man. I’m too big for condoms.” No one ever claimed the boy was bragging. So, again, not sure why you think we’re saying all penises are the same size.

And I hope that you (and the other person that said something like this) realize that you comparing shoving a fire hose up a vagina with a too-snug condom is simply ridiculous. It’s not even a valid comparison.

Condoms may not be one-size-fits-all (obviously), but they are one-size-fits-most. If this guy is one of the ones that has to special order them, regardless of the reason, that’s perfectly fine. I hope he finds a solution.

@wildpotato I’m sure I could Google it, and I have an inkling already, but what is “fluid bonding?”

ETA: Googled it. I was off. It’s just a fancy way of saying, “we have sex without condoms.” How anti-climactic…

@joetheyfit Appreciate the answer. I feel like less of a jackass for asking this now.

Just to clarify I didn’t put my size in details (to avoid this),and I thought what I did put in the details would be enough I was just trying to focus on the issue at hand which was the condom. People for what ever reason assumed it was a joke or a troll question, I guess. Which to say least was very annoying. I was trying to keep this to a serious and mature question and on topic. Which is why I had asked in general, because it is a legitimate issue for me.

Anyways, that being said, it seems I now a have solution and so for that thanks.

@livelaughlove21 Well, that’s half of it – the major point is to eliminate the risk of STIs by both being tested at the same time before ever barebacking, and to also commit to not having unprotected sex (or in some arrangements, sex of any sort) outside of the relationship. Polyamory is still an option as long as all new metamours get tested and can be trusted to not have unprotected sex with others.