We all got along well for years. About 10 years into my marriage (you can an additional 2 years for dating before marriage) we had a falling out and it dragged on for years. It was stupid and ridiculous, but his family can hold a grudge, be passive aggressive, and do the silent treatment (although they never actually cut off, but they were obviously less communicative and we saw them much less often).
My SO was glad that finally maybe I learned how his family can be, and possibly I would stop going out of my way for them. He was 97% on my side. I say not 100% because he did point out where I might have been wrong, and I agreed I had responded badly to some things, and done some things that probably put off his family, but overall he felt they were ungrateful and judged us, especially him for that matter wrongly and unfairly.
I was extremely upset at first. For years – years – I wanted thing to be better. I tried to apologize 3 times over several years to clear the air, and for them that meant that I was admitting I was the bitch, instead of them also saying they contributed. They started it in my mind, not that it matters, I just was hoping all of us could apologize and say we regretted some things that were said and put it all behind us. Anyway, I was upset for years, then I finally got angry and decided fuck them! I really had felt a loss for those years I was upset, and then I decided it had gone on too long and I could never ever trust them with my love, because I can’t love people who are so passive aggressive, and who like to dislike people. Within months of that time all of a sudden his family was more friendly and more wanting to be with us. I guess the few interactions we had so ehow it came through that they had no power over me anymore. It wasn’t my intent, I had no strategy, I had no idea it would work out that way.