Here are things that help me. Believe me, I have been relying on them very heavily lately, and especially during the past month:
1. Talking to someone. This is very hard for me because the worse I feel, the more I want to isolate. But I have been a sympathetic ear very many times, and I do know that most people will return the favor. I also know an excellent therapist; holding that card in reserve right now.
2. Recalling the so-called Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. As an atheist, I don’t regard it as a prayer so much as a way of focusing my thoughts on what I can control and trying to let go of what I can’t. Sometimes I go over it steadily for a lengthy period of time, like a mantra, just to drown out the noise.
3. Escapism. An absorbing book or movie, music, writing—something I can give my whole mind to. I don’t care if it’s a “crutch.” When you’ve broken your leg, a crutch is exactly what you need, and thank goodness for it.
I don’t like to take medication either, and I’m not using anything for anxiety and stress. I also drink next to nothing (meaning probably a glass of wine a month, on average). Well do I know that that’s a perceived temporary solution that can become a bigger problem than all the rest and exacerbate whatever’s already wrong.
I hope you can find the relief you need. It’s very hard to find solutions or even just take care of yourself in the midst of someone else’s crisis if you’re too stressed to think straight. And you’re no help to others if you need to be taken care of yourself. Best wishes to you.