@JLeslie Hey lady this cuts both ways. :)

@Adirondackwannabe Ask your own question if you want. :).

I object to the term “against her better judgment” because it makes the woman seem like some dumb bimbo who is not responsible for her actions. It repeats the canard that women are in some way weak and stupid creatures who are not responsible for themselves because of a man.

A woman makes a decision for herself, and should take ownership of that decision. Saying that it was “because of man’s influence” is simply copping out.

Nope – any mistakes I’ve made were truly my own fault.

I could say that, but I wouldn’t. My decisions are my responsibility. Blaming my fuck ups on some guy would suggest I’m not my own person.

My insecurity in my youth provided me opportunities to “please the boyfriend” against my better judgment. Yes, I had the ability to say no—of course—but my desire to be liked by the boyfriend trumped common sense. The one specific example I can provide is stealing trash can lids to use as props in a play. He thought it would be fun. I thought it was a horrible idea, and I do recall trying to talk him out of it; but I participated in the activity so he’d think I wasn’t so “square.”

Yes, I hang my head in shame. And that is my responsibility, but I was under the influence of “love.”

I’m with @picante
Mostly feeling pressured into sexuality I didn’t really want and staying waaaay too loong in an unhappy marriage, blinded by the bullshit. lol

The town I live in now was all thanks to me ex. He got promoted here. I did not want to move, but I was still living with my mum and wanted to leave. Just not the town. I hated my ex at the time for it. I blamed him for everything. I didn’t have to come though. I also wouldn’t have met my now boyfriend.

Oh you did not just go there! Game on, sister!

Close, but it would be more accurate to say that the things I have done against my better judgement were due to my insecurities.

I remember missing my curfew and the guy I was dating decided the only way to get out of it was to run away from home. I can’t really blame him for my following his advice. We were both stoned out of our minds. I was all set to move to California, but got confused by the blinking traffic lights so fell asleep in a parking lot. When I woke up, going home made a lot more sense than driving across the country. When I got home, I was in SO much trouble.

I can’t blame him for steering me the wrong way. But I CAN blame him for breaking into my mom’s car and stealing the stereo when I dumped him later that week. I know he did it because he got caught with it and went to juvie.

Yep. I dated winners back then.

Not that I can recall. All my errors were due to low self esteem.

@elbanditoroso, @janbb, and @livelaughlove21 said it all.

stay golden jellies

Not at all. I’d listen, but my behavior was all my own decision based on what I thought was the right thing to do. I have no regrets.

Nothing. My own judgment back in the day was dumb enough on its own.

Example: an ex from my late teens kept having to move from place to place because he couldn’t get along with any of his roommates. Instead of thinking, “hey, bro, maybe the problem is YOU,” I comforted him. Like, “you’re totally right. They’re so meeeeean.” He spent all his rent money on weed and could barely keep the stupidest jobs, like being a cashier at [trendy teen mall store]. It was never his fault; everyone else was just too meeeean. The stupid thing I did was, uh, spending time with this weenie.

Well, probably the worst thing I ever did under pressure from a man was to drop out of college in my 2nd year. I was majoring in journalism, and had big dreams.

My folks got a divorce about that time, and my dad sat me down, said he wasn’t going to pay for college any more (we had been raised being told that as long as we made the grades dad WOULD pay for it.) He said all I needed to do was find a good man to marry and let him take care of me.

So I dropped out. And married. And divorced. And wound up in poverty for several years, which my dad didn’t want to know anything about.