WTF? This is the way the world works now. Dirty Text. Pics. Boning.

At my age, zero to the 10th power. Besides I don’t text, so the odds are even less.
If you’re 14 it’s more likely. haha

I’ll be bummed if the world ever gets down to dirty pics, texting, and boning. I’m still a fucked up romantic. I want nice dinners, holding hands, respecting my partner, and if she wants me to, me backing off.

@Adirondackwannabe : Romance still lives and loves. It’s the new generation that prefers these methods. While I am an old lady I still have to play the youngster game. Frankly, I don’t hate it.

@Sueanne_Tremendous Yeah, hear you loud and clear. It has some advantages, but I still like the old ways.

Oh no, I am a dinosaur.

Hmm, that is a male-centric view; Women don’t view that as romantic. And it might entice some younger women into having sex, if they happen to be at a stage in their life where they are exploring their sexuality, but not on a regular basis and not as part of a long term relationship.

What’s wrong with talking to a woman and taking her out on a date? If she is interested in you, 3 to 5 dates is all it really takes. And starting out with a more conventional approach and getting into a relationship is a lot more fun and much more satisfying sexually.

@Adirondackwannabe Dinosaurs are cool. It would be cool if a huge dinosaur just busted in here, grinning at everyone and was all like, hi guyz lol. I mean, hmm…

A person I respect once told me that romantic relationships are approached thus:

a Fuck
an Affair
a Relationship
a Marriage

FARM has always stuck with me since he mentioned it. He went on to say that it is extremely rare for one type to develop to a higher level.

A different man I admire explained when I was bemoaning a relationship ending that next time I should try it differently. I usually gave 100% to the relationship at the beginning. Instead, he suggested giving only 10% by communicating through emails and telephone conversations, and then meeting for coffee would be raising things to 15%. A full date for dinner and a movie might be considered 25% or 30%. The way things progressed would determine how well we got along. If we got to a point where things were not going well, then we had not lost as much and there were fewer hurt feelings by using this approach. I have tried it, and he was right.

@Symbeline Well a triceratops would be pretty horny.

It’s a regular Jurassic Park in here right now. lol
I can count 4 or 5 of us dinosaurs.

@Adirondackwannabe lol word game

@Sueanne_Tremendous sadly it seems to happen a lot.

I can see that making sense to hook up for really out-there kink. I mean, if you’re into really outrageous stuff, there are certainly potential partners out there that like the same scene, but the chances of just meeting someone compatible on the street, and falling for each other the old fashioned way only to find that you both like to get it on while holding in a 4 quart enema or some such, it’s more likely the Tea Party will try to am mend the Constitution so Obama can run for a third term.

It didn’t work out too well for Anthony Weiner.

LOL ^^^^

@Kardamom Yeah, whatta weenie. haha

Me, I am an old fashioned guy, Drinks, boning, romantic dinner, boning, dirty text, boning, pics, boning .

Wait! I left out the bj!

I think it’s a lot more common than most people thing. Plenty of long-term relationships start out as one-night stands that just wind up dragging on a bit. Few people will admit to this, however, even to themselves. They revise the past and forget their original intentions, retroactively crowning someone as “the one” and swearing up and down they knew all along.

Romeo, Romeo, where to fuck now Romeo?
But soft, what light through yonder cleavage breaks?
It is her tits and Juliet is the sex machine

Ahh, romance never dies.

My relationship started out like this. I was in a dead end sexless and unhappy relationship. I wanted sex. We both just wanted casual sex. We sent dirty texts to each other all night, and we would meet up one night a week for sex. Which then became a weekend, then most nights, then I moved in. I still often send him dirty texts or leave him letters, and every now and then I will send him pictures of myself.

That’s totally possible – you know, except for that “meaningful” part.

And I think it’s insulting to assume all men wish relationships started this way. You know what I think is “neat?” Knowing a thing or two about a person before sticking your dick in them. This is how we avoid herpes.

Chance of happening-? My guess is pretty good. Go for it. Sounds fun. Get sex compatibility out of the way so you can move on to “meaningful” things. One caveat though. Takes emotionally intelligent people, whether young or older to make this work.

This is exactly how my own relationship started 7 years ago and now, for all it’s casual beginnings, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. So, chances are good I’d say. @livelaughlove21 My relationship is incredibly meaningful to both of us, I don’t think it’s fair to assume that something can’t start as casual and turn into something more as long as both parties progress to the next stage at a similar time. I can imagine it would be difficult if one wanted casual and the other wanted romance though.

@ucme As if the original was any more romantic? This is Shakespeare we’re talking about, after all. The dirtiest of dirty old men.

@livelaughlove21 Since when does “a lot of guys” mean “all men”? Moreover, since when does a casual relationship that includes talking over the phone exclude responsible discussion of STDs or the use of protection to avoid them? And finally, spare us the 19th century prudishness. Leaving aside the fact that the situation @XOIIO describes clearly involves getting to know someone before having sex with them (“hooking up” is step three of the four step process he lays out), who are you to tell other people that their relationships cannot be meaningful because they did not proceed the way you prefer for your own relationships to proceed?

@SavoirFaire So not sleeping around makes me a prude? Okay.

If one wishes to be promiscuous, that’s their decision and I don’t give a hoot what they do in the bedroom. However, that’s not how one typically looks for a meaningful relationship. If a meaningful relationship comes out of it, that’s great – but that’s the exception, not the rule. If I were to go around throwing my cat at everyone that wants it, I probably shouldn’t expect to find any decent men looking for a serious relationship. The guys I attract by being easy are guys looking to get laid, not married. A minority finding love in situations like this doesn’t mean the chances of that happening are good.

The question is basically if fuck buddies can end up in successful, long-term relationships. Sure, but most don’t. I didn’t attack your relationship, so relax.

Oh, and sexting and sending naked pictures is hardly getting to know someone.

@livelaughlove21 No, not sleeping around does not make you a prude. Nor did I say anything of the sort. Indeed, I explicitly noted that it was your insistence that relationships cannot be meaningful if they did not proceed the way you prefer for your own relationships to proceed with which I was taking issue. That’s the logical force and English language meaning of the sentence “that’s totally possible—you know, except for that ’meaningful’ part,” after all, whether you like it or not. So thank you for your clarification, but it would be better not to make the mistake in the first place.

As for sexting and sending naked pictures, of course they are not getting to know someone. Luckily, I never said otherwise. Yet again, you have misread what I wrote and responded to a phantom. If we read @XOIIO‘s OP, we’ll see that he mentions the relationship as starting out casual. You seem to think that the sexting and the naked pictures are all that entails. I am assuming otherwise. Talking on the phone and casually hanging out with someone involves more than just dirty talk under normal circumstances.

And finally, I am not defending my own marriage. It did not start as a one-night stand. In fact, it began and proceeded rather traditionally. One of my best friends is married to a man who started out as one of her partners in a spontaneous threesome, however, and their relationship is as stable as any. And I know plenty of other people whose relationships began in “non-traditional” ways (scare quotes because these alternatives to the cultural narrative are probably just as common, if not more so, than the so-called tradition).

@SavoirFaire Who the hell cares? I stand by my original answer. No “mistake” was made. It was half tongue-in-cheek and half serious. It was not, however, an answer directed at you. Not sure why it rattled your cage quite so much.

@livelaughlove21 I think, for many people, if they embark on a casual relationship such as the type that @XOIIO is referring to, they are not actually looking for a meaningful relationship (I know the last thing I wanted was marriage at the time), they are, most likely, just after something fun, a bit naughty with no pressure but, with time, it turns in to something more. The turning point for my boyfriend and I was when we couldn’t just “hook up” for some time due to other commitments on both our parts. We realised how much we missed each other and decided that it was time we promoted the arrangement to a “relationship”. We haven’t looked back since. I know a lot of relationships have started in a similar way to ours so maybe it’s a sign of the times?

@Leanne1986 That’s all fine, but the question is asking about the chances of this happening. I believe the chances aren’t very good, which is why I answered the way that I did. The question itself indicates the person is looking to get a relationship out of it.

I know a few relationships that started that way – in college, and none of them are still together. Does that mean it never works out? No. Does knowing people with successful relationships that started this way mean it always works or does so often? No. If you take all casual relationships in a given time and space, I’d bet most of them don’t turn into anything meaningful. Therefore, chances probably aren’t good.

I’m not exactly out of touch with the times. I’m in my early 20’s.

If I asked, “what are the chances of finding money buried in my backyard if I go digging?” everyone would say that all I’ll find is dirt and perhaps a dead animal or two. No one would say, “well, I know a couple of people who found money that way, so the chances are probably pretty good.”

@SavoirFaire Slightly less shallow though, which I believe was my point.

@livelaughlove21 I understand what you are saying but my point was that I think meaningful relationships come out of something fun and casual more often than you may think which is why I don’t think the chances are as unlikely as you seem to. I suppose it all depends on culture, environment and the individual people in our lives though as to what our thoughts are on this subject.

Also, what counts as a meaningful relationship? Even if a relationship doesn’t end up in a 50 year, successful marriage, does that necessarily mean that it wasn’t meaningful while it lasted? On the flip side I know of many relationships that started off with dating and holding off sex until love etc that didn’t last very long, are they less meaningful than those that started off casual but lasted longer? What about the people that do the whole dating/less casual thing, get married and stay married for their whole lives but are unsatisfied or secretly (or not so secretly in some cases) unhappy, how meaningful are they? I’m not expecting anyone to answer this it was just something I was trying to consider when I first saw this Q.

@livelaughlove21 Who the hell cares? Well, you cared enough to answer in the first place, and I cared enough to respond. Then you cared enough to reply back, and I cared enough to write this. So it seems we both care—at least enough to keep the discussion going. Your actions belie your attempt to pretend this is of no concern to you.

And yes, a mistake was made. In one post you say X, and in another you say not-X. That entails a contradiction, and contradictions are necessarily false. Therefore, at least one of your statements is incorrect. This is very basic logic, whether you like it or not. Standing by your original statement, then, is just doubling down on error. Not a very rational thing to do, I’m afraid.

Finally, it is irrelevant whether your original answer was directed at me or not. You made a public statement, which opens it up for public comment. That’s how assertions work, especially on discussion sites like this one. You said something false, and I endeavored to correct it. There is no “cage rattling” here, just ordinary discussion. Indeed, it is quite arrogant of you to think that all disagreement is somehow evidence that you have upset or angered someone.

Oy, just give it up already.

You’re totally right and I’m an idiot that can’t even grasp basic logic. Don’t take my word for it, though; I’m so stupid that I might be wrong about that, too. I’m sure you know, though. After all, your intellect is quite obviously superior here.

Happy?