General Question

yankeetooter's avatar

Have you ever reached the point that you are ready to walk out on your job (with no other job already secured)?

Asked by yankeetooter (9651points) November 5th, 2013
37 responses
“Great Question” (2points)

I am at that point. I am being verbally harassed at the school I work at…by the students. Almost everyday, several times a day, three or four students in the class (we only have six students in our classroom) start cussing me out and making very mean comments to me (about my appearance, the fact I don’t have a man, etc.) They often wait until staff are out of the room to start in on me, when I have no option of stepping out to gather myself.

Staff are no help. This situation started developing when a new teacher with insecurities (I guess) came in the classroom and started overriding everything I said. This put her on the kids’ good side, so of course they get away with murder now. One day, while I was not in the room (but she was present with another staff), the kids put paint and pencil sharpener shavings all over my seat…and somehow staff didn’t see anything. Hmm…

I have been asking my supervisor for almost two months to be moved from the classroom. The stress is starting to affect my physical health…half the time I wake up with a migraine and/or an upset stomach because I am so stressed at the thought of going to work. She just keeps telling me to work things out with my classroom team. Today, after the kids were disrespectful most of one class, the staff took them to the gym (they have a free period when they don’t have group therapy scheduled). It was like she rewarded them for their obnoxious behavior.

Well today I took a stand. When the supervisor still kept repeating her ineffectual advice, I let her know I was going to talk to HR. I was prepared to walk out on the spot if they told me I had to go back in that classroom. HR went to talk to my supervisor, and until she has a chance to meet with both of us tomorrow, she arranged for me to be in another classroom for the day (a class that is short staffed anyway because the teacher is out sick.)

I don’t know what time the meeting is tomorrow, but I am not going back into the old classroom for anything. I am prepared to be fired over that. In the meeting, I am prepared to let them know I will not work in the classroom.

One can only take so much mental duress before even financial insecurity looks preferable.

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Answers

Coloma's avatar

Oh, you have no idea! That’s all I’m sayin’.
When the first thought that comes to mind upon opening your eyes in the morning is ” God, I gotta get outta this place” yep…a clue don’t you think? lol

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Not since the Bush economy. Don’t do it.

yankeetooter's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought…the stress will kill me otherwise.

LornaLove's avatar

Yes, I have and I did. It always turned out better for me with a rough patch in the middle. I am appalled at what is going on and not knowing the school system I have no idea what to day. Do they teach you how to manage abusive kids at teacher training college? Get all the help you can before you decide. There may be a solution.

I wish you well and I hope this all works out for you. It sounds like a nightmare. Health is more important, always.

tom_g's avatar

Wait. Are you a teacher in a public school? Where? Around here it would take one incident – just one – and every one if the kids involved would be suspended. period.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@yankeetooter If you think you can get another job, do it now. Much better than finding out later you can’t

chyna's avatar

Never quit a job without a job in this economy. I know your mental health is at stake, but so is your livelihood. Start looking for another job now.

yankeetooter's avatar

@LornaLove…teacher training college? I’m just an assistant teacher, which means all this on very little money. It won’t be that hard (I hope and pray) to find a job making similar money because I don’t make that much in the first place.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I am sad that you had to experience this abuse and did not receive support from those above you. It’s appalling.

If I were in your situation, I would quit regardless of any other circumstances.

Your health is at stake. That is very important.

tom_g's avatar

Is this a special education classroom (6 kids?). I feel as though I am missing something important here.

jonsblond's avatar

Can you secretly take a video of this abuse and show it to your superior?

yankeetooter's avatar

@tom_g ,,,kids with behavioral problems. Technically special ed, yes, but these kids are not mentally challenged. Thanks, @Hawaii_Jake…I think that day is coming very soon. @jonsblond…we are not allowed to videotape the kids without the parent’s permission.

jonsblond's avatar

@yankeetooter Most schools have the parents sign a form at the beginning of the school year to allow this. The parents need to sign the form as needed at your school? I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. It’s a shame these kids think it’s fine to make fun of others. Where’s the compassion? grrr

snowberry's avatar

If you are in teacher training, GO TO YOUR STUDENT ADVISOR at the college! Tell them everything that’s been going on and they MUST resolve it for you! You are not alone in this.

yankeetooter's avatar

@snowberry…I am not training to be a teacher (and now I’m glad, because I would not want to deal with this all my life.) I am an assistant teacher, who is majoring in computer science.

And I feel very alone in this…

Pachy's avatar

I did that once many years ago because, even though my employer liked me a lot and pleaded with me to give it a little more time, I knew the job and I were wrong for each other. I got another job a few weeks later. (This was in the ‘60s when jobs were easier to find, especially in New York.)

yankeetooter's avatar

I know the economy is bad, but I cannot stay there.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@yankeetooter I was just telling somebody on Fluther about the charming assistant bank teller I met today with an MBA who was excited that they were considering him to be an assistant finance associate after 10 years. He was very excited because he was the only one from his MBA class with a full time job.

yankeetooter's avatar

Discouraging, yes…but I cannot stay there.

ibstubro's avatar

You should make them fire you so you can pick up some unemployment benefits as a bridge to a new job. You could quit if they would agree to not contest your benefits.

How much longer do you have before you get you CS degree?

yankeetooter's avatar

Awhile on the CS degree, unfortunately. I wonder if they would fire me if I refuse to work in the old classroom tomorrow. (But do you still get benefits if you are fired?)

jonsblond's avatar

@yankeetooter But do you still get benefits if you are fired? Yes. My husband’s previous employer tried to make his life a living hell so he would quit and they wouldn’t have to pay unemployment. He never did quit because we needed the money, but there were many days when he just wanted to walk away. He finally found something else and left them without much notice.

yankeetooter's avatar

Yes, but what if you out and out refuse to do something they tell you to, @jonsblond? I am not going back in that classroom.

ibstubro's avatar

One thing you should have started earlier is a paper trail.

If you’re certain you will not go back into that classroom, you need to write a letter stating that and giving as clear and detailed reasons as you can. Include specifics. Then, if they tell you you have to return to the classroom, ask them what other options they can offer. If they say ‘none’, then give them your letter. It will buy you some more time, and it’ll put the fear in them. They can’t afford to have copies of your letter circulating. It might just make them want to be rid of you as much as you want to go. Shoot for unemployment…if they try to contest, you at least have the letter as a little leverage.

ETpro's avatar

Weird error.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

You are asking for help, but your question is addressing the wrong part of the problem. That said, yes, I have felt that way. I have left employment with another job lined up, I have also walked out with no plan in place. I can assure you, that if you can’t handle half a dozen kids with bad attitudes, you will NOT be able to handle homelessness, food banks, facing overburdened personnel managers with your reason for quitting. The help you need is not advice on how to survive when you quit. The advice you need is how to strengthen yourself so you can successfully do the job you trained for; the job you were hired for. Someone gave you a chance to prove you could educate children. Do it. Quit letting kids tell you what qualifications you should meet. Don’t worry about how they think you should dress, or do your hair. Your personal relationships are none of their business. You are grown. BE grown. Don’t walk into ANY room with the attitude that you will find out what they want and try to be it. You walk into that classroom knowing you own those four walls and the time spent in there. No one will waste your time, energy, attention with their petty, childish diversions. You were advised to keep documentation of events. That is one of the strengths you can use. Another strenght is knowing you refuse to allow these brats to force you into a homeless shelter. There are lots of unemployed teachers. You would be easy to replace. The job you have would not be easy for you to replace. Drink some milk, strengthen that backbone, and face your situation. Those kids are reacting to your own feelings of inadequacy. You make the choice to be master of your own destiny, follow through, and you will begin to see their attitudes change. You don’t depend on those kids for your employment, they depend on you to bring them growth, learning, tools to meet their future. Be strong enough to not let them down. Now, breathe deep, give yourself a hug from me.

snowberry's avatar

Excellent points! Lurve for @Jonesn4burgers

yankeetooter's avatar

No, @Jonesn4burgers…I am leaving the field of education. It is not the career I am interested in pursuing.

tom_g's avatar

@yankeetooter: “No, @Jonesn4burgers…I am leaving the field of education. It is not the career I am interested in pursuing.”

@yankeetooter: ‘I am an assistant teacher, who is majoring in computer science.”

Come to the dark side. The job market is still pretty strong in software. I’m a software engineer, and here in Massachusetts there is really strong demand. Salaries have been steadily increasing, and it appears that they are expected to in 2014 as well.

rojo's avatar

My daughters SO did this. He worked in a hospital setting and did not think that his immediate supervisor was doing a professional manner and said as much giving examples. When she made no positive responses he went to her boss with the facts and when this did not produce the results he thought should be implemented, he quit saying he would not be a part of such medically questionable, unprofessional practices. That was six months ago and since that time all he has had are a series of part-time jobs, none of which are in his particular field of expertise. Unfortunately, you know who gets called for references? The two people whose professionalism he brought into question. He is pretty well screwed when it comes to getting a job in the medical profession, at least in this town.
Thing is, he could have lined another job up before quitting and be making a decent living instead of hand to mouth. Thing is, the former employers do not even have to make any negative comments or provide any details. All they have to do is answer no to the question “Would you rehire this person” and that will guarantee him not being hired.

yankeetooter's avatar

Thanks, @tom_g…I plan to!

gary4books's avatar

I have done it several times. I always managed.

You can.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

I have. I did. I would do it again.

LornaLove's avatar

@yankeetooter I hope everything went OK for you today. Please keep us posted?

yankeetooter's avatar

I was supposed to have a meeting with HR today, but admin was too busy, so we’re trying again tomorrow. Meanwhile, they put me in a different classroom.

I wonder if they think I’m going to “cool down” and change my mind about things…but I’m not. This is not an emotional decision but one I came to after a long time and a lot of thought.

ibstubro's avatar

@yankeetooter You should be taking this time to gather a written history of the abuse you’ve suffered, and researching the unemployment laws and guidelines in your state. You can call the unemployment office and quiz them about what is contestable and non-contestable firing. You have a window of opportunity here…use it to your advantage.

snowberry's avatar

Great. Use this time to your advantage. Write down everything you can so you can present them with a rational well thought out document. Name names, give as many dates and times as you can, and before you finish eliminate ALL emotional language and inflammatory rhetoric from your language.

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