With friends and acquaintances, the harsh dialogue isn’t all you get. There are other elements in the interactions that buffer harsh opinions, like friendship, caring, camaraderie, sharing of experiences creating a past, sharing of common interests, and the energetic interchange that can only happen in person.
When you’re on line, the question or dialogue you share on that issue is IT a great deal of the time. There is no buffering, no innate caring, no endearment born of sharing life. The other person is embodied within your imagination and the words that stream across a virtual canvas. The exception is when you develop a friendship with the person on line.
On line, in a forum of strangers who also have strong opinions, there is no buffering factor. A person could express a harsh opinion to a friend, then smile and give them a slap on the back. This injects caring and buffers words.
Plus, the reason that, for many people, it has always been easier to write something than just try and speak it to another, is that the distance, and being alone with yourself allows for an objectivity. This objectivity lends courage to speak one’s truth. It can also desensitize a person, if they are not aware of the power of words and are caught up in the passion of their own convictions.
Our society has been gifted by technology with the ability to become partially robotic, virtual if you will. I say ‘gifted’ with a great deal of sarcasm. The furry to write words off the top of one’s head ls like a surfer riding a wave. There are more waves to ride, but when does one go down into the immense beauty and mystery of the ocean? Technology is weening the ability to dive into the depth of the moment, and replacing it with the slippery, shifting floor of I’m here, doing this and right now I think this and blah blah blah. This keeps thought and communication on a very superficial level, unless of course, one uses the tools of technology to express deep thought.
Deep thinkers luxuriate in the silence.
The line, in my opinion between bullying and a strong opinion is when it becomes personal. Bullying draws attention to the person, rather than remaining on the points of the issue. I am of course speaking about communicating over issues on line with a stranger. When you watch a debate, you can see the difference I am talking about. There is not bleeding over into personal attack.
Bullying that goes on in our culture is born of the insecurity and self devaluation bullies themselves feel. Bullying is an echo of either a conviction of superiority or self devaluation. Either way, it speaks to the atmosphere in which these kids grow up. They aren’t born bullies.
The solution is to teach kids from a very early age about how the mind works, and the innate beauty and value of unique expression in the world. Sadly, there aren’t enough enlightened adults out there to do that.
The kid who do have this advantage, are loving, caring, creative and accepting. They grow up to be adults who know how to guide and nurture a young child, and, who do not themselves bully others anywhere, at anytime.