When I buy a gift for a friend or someone in my family I never expect anything in return. My family doesn’t give gifts often, there is zero obligation to give one. If a gift is given it almost always is because someone came across something they thought was perfect for someone in particular, or because the person had been thinking about the other person a lot, and wanted to give them something. My family doesn’t celebrate Christmas. However, when I see my parents they always buy me things. I see them 1–3 times a year depending on the year. I buy them things more randomly, same for my sister and aunt. My family is very small.
With my husband’s family it isn’t always as pure. Gifts are bought for Christmas If we are all together, and there have been years where they really gave my husband “cheap” gifts while giving other family members gifts that obviously showed more thought, and yes a significant amount more money was spent on them. It was a slight in my opinion. We continued to give nice gifts. I think the whole opening gifts in front of everyone for Christmas is awful. For kids it’s wonderful, but among adults it can become a competition. Even if there is no competition it might be financially difficult for some and they still feel pressure. No matter what I don’t really expect anything in return, but at Christmas Eve dinner I have an expectation that everyone is giving everyone else presents.
As far as good deeds. I am a big pay it forward fan, and if I do a favor or help someone else my only hope is they help another person when they feel able or an opportunity arises.