No way. I like my job, it’s meaningful, but I applied to grad school because it’s a job that doesn’t go anywhere. I can’t take on more responsibilities. I just do what I’m directed to do. As a teacher assistant in a special needs classroom, I get no say in things like IEPs (their yearly goals), or how the day is structured. I already have more responsibility than almost any other assistant in my building (for example I have a leadership position on one of the committees I’m on) but after only a year and half I’m already not being challenged. Anything I learn is great, it helps me help my students more, but nobody really cares honestly, because I’m just the assistant.
So I’m seeking to expand my influence on disabled students, so I can be the person to say “we should head in this direction”, “he/she has emerging skills in X, let’s focus on that”. And to be honest, financially I can’t stay at this position forever. I live at home because there is no other way. I have health insurance, and good health insurance at that, but that doesn’t make me feel better that I have to watch every penny like a hawk. It sucks seeing everyone you know gaining independence and you are 25 and stuck in place.
I also have other complications, while I do have asperger’s, what really is in my way career-wise is my vision impairment, which means even though I have good functional vision, I can’t drive and it’s unlikely my acuity will ever allow that possibility. Try being an adult and completely dependant on others to get around and you can see why grad school is such a mystery to me even if I do get in, how will I get around? I’m too disabled to be normal but too abled to qualify for help is the bottom line.
And on top of that, my position will likely not exist next year so even if I don’t go to school, I’ll still be applying to schools (my district only hires temporary 1 year contracts as they consolidate and as one of the temps with the least years I’m certainly on the chopping block). This place is really close to home so I’ve been able to work out the transportation bit but if I’m working somewhere else my transportation struggles will once again come to the forefront.
So when people ask me what I’m doing next year my reply is always, “I don’t know, I’m just going to have to wait and see.”