Self comes and goes. It’s there sometimes and not there other times, blinking on and off with changes in circumstances. People think it’s around all the time because when it’s there it sees itself, and when it’s not there there’s no one to look for it. It arises when various situations conjure it up, and goes away when the conjuring stops.
It’s something of an oxymoron to talk about someone being selfless. If there’s someone there to be selfless, then they’re not selfless. It’s better to say that selflessness is our fundamental condition, but that self keeps popping up out of that selflessness. That’s neither good nor bad. Things are perfect just as they are.