Abe Lincoln – I freed who? No shit! All? Whehew, that Kentucky whiskey sure is somethin’ huh?!
Ben Franklin – I like French kissing, but I’m not wild about French dressing. That always means the party is over. French toast is nice. I can’t repeat my favorite French toast just now, though. My wife takes offense.
John Glenn – One big step leads to…. no, a leap for me a step for you… no, shit, we rehearsed it so much!
King Henry’s last wife – Like hell, Hank! I saw this one coming. I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.
George W. Bush – You can fool some of the people, but I can’t. No, wait, You can fool some of the people, I’ll try to fool a few more… no, now, when you fool some of the people your numbers go down, but when you fool most of the people you get re elected!
Daniel Boone’s last words – I think this bear heard of me.
Queen Victoria – Let them eat nekkid pancakes!