This might be something you take with a grain of salt because my multiple kidney stones and bowel resection might be like a champagne damped brunch compared to what you’re going through:
Be a good patient. No matter how severe your condition is your surgeons and support staff have seen it all before. Though your situation is unique to you the staff has seen it all before, over and over and over.
Distinguish yourself and impress those that would help you by at least appearing to be optimistic, jovial and strong.
For example staff asks you how you are out of rhetorical habit. respond with asking how they are.
Mention pain but DO NOT BITCH ABOUT IT. Everybody’s in pain. Staff will be impressed with your control and be more likely to attend to you.
Keep a subtle positive attitude: Too much optimism looks like denial. They have all seen that before too.
You must take care of those that take of you: A great way to get your mind off of your condition is to concentrate on your caretakers. How has their day been so far? What is up in their personal lives? Care and they will care back.
Those in healthcare respect those that understand that one’s health is ones ultimately one’s own responsibility. KNOW your condition as well as you can going in. If you feel comfortable use physician’s language when you can.
Pay attention to your staff’s state, don’t be afraid to ask them if they are ok, right up to your surgeon.
Once I got lucky: My mature yet plucky GI surgeon drove a battered example of the car I drove.
It was reassuring to hear her talk about the mechanics of this shredded car. Partly I was more confident with a doc that didn’t have the ego to drive more for it’s own sake. But she understood the idea of removing, replacing… making something that’s been around a while continue to work.
I once asked her “why don’t you get that noisy exhaust replaced?” She told me her little son enjoyed the vibration and sound. THAT’S the kind of person I want working on me.
I have had on several occasions had staff, upon knowing I was being discharged give me what I thought were more than usual signs of affection. Deep embraces, long eye contact, and difficult to describe impressions of just not knowing how to appropriately express their happiness to have me under their charge, often with my wife peacefully standing by.
Wall of fucking text I know: TL:DR?
Don’t act like a victim. Take as much personal interest in your help as propriety allows.