Stopped seeing things that happened to me as things that were done to me, and started seeing myself as someone who got through a lot of shit.
At the same time, changed my level of accountability to 100% my fault to 50/50 depending on the situation. I don’t think it’s healthy to put all the blame externally or internally, but to consider each situation on an individual basis.
The slight change in perspective changed my locus of control from seeing myself as a frequent victim to seeing myself as someone that had experiences…. in psycho-speak, I moved from an external locus of control to an internal one.