Yes, I don’t compliment them unless I know them well.

Nope. When I turned forty I stopped giving a shit. If I like your hair, I will tell you. Nice shirt? Yup, that too.

Obviously I’m respectful about it, but if common courtesy and an honest reaction to something that catches your eye have to be curtailed because of either female paranoia or the bad deeds of other moronic men, then I refuse to live in that world or even acknowledge it.

You shouldn’t have to second guess being nice.

@Hypocrisy_Central Do you compliment a man who is a stranger that gets on the elevator on his haircut, or his cologne, or how well that suit accentuates his figure?

Then don’t compliment a woman on the same basis.

Strike up a conversation with a woman on the same basis you would with a man. Do that and you won’t get negative feedback.

”Do you compliment a man who is a stranger that gets on the elevator on his haircut, or his cologne, or how well that suit looks?”

I absolutely do that as well.

You should have no fear of giving a woman and genuine, polite compliment. We love it. However, “Nice ass! Here, let me grab it!” is not a compliment. “Nice tits!” is also not a compliment. Don’t know exactly what word I would use to call them….

Not at all, can’t be arsed working out if she’s a worry bucket, her problem not mine.

I have had men compliment me, then apologize. It makes me sad they feel so squeezed.
I compliment men I don’t know. I am especially fond of a very nice, or unique tie.
Men I do know, I compliment also, but sometimes tailored to who they are. If I know Mr. Simmons has been worried about his mother, and maybe looking rather unkempt of late, I will be certain to mention how nice he looks when things improve, and point out how he seems to have an energetic spring to his step today.
I don’t want other men to feel stifled around normal women. Being frightened of every interaction with men or even male strangers is a personal emotional problem which needs to be dealt with. It is not the responsibility of every man to make those women feel safe.

I have never had a problem giving anyone a sincere and honest compliment. I don’t invade their space and I’m not pursuing them. I’m just showing my appreciation. If we can’t interact in honest sincere ways what the heck are we doing by socializing?

Yes, absolutely. I find myself self-censoring frequently.

You never know when a perfectly innocent, honest compliment is going to be misinterpreted by someone who heightened sensitivities. So I very seldom say anything any more other than getting whatrver we have to do done.

Sad, actually. The world is less pleasant if we have to censor ourselves.

I’m with @Adirondackwannabe I remember a young man at a club that once who lightly grabbed my wrist as I was leaving. I paused and looked at him as he quickly let go of my wrist. He said, excuse me but I’ve come to this club many times. I am not trying to hit on you and I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you and that the dress I was wearing looked like it was made for me. He then said he knew I had a boyfriend and that he thought him a very lucky man. He said he wasn’t trying to hit on me but he felt he would regret not telling my that before I left the club and wished me a good night. I thanked him for the compliment and left. I thought it was very sweet. I could tell he was sincere.

I have had those moments when I felt compelled to compliment someone. (So you know that was over 30 years ago.)
I don’t recieve those kind of compliments any longer, but I think of it the same way as when my neighbor tells me my garden (not a metaphor) looks gorgeous. People sometimes have to tell you that they appreciate the work that went into making a person or a garden pretty.
I think when a compliment is sincere with no strings attached, it will often make a persons day. Both male and female.

@Pandora You are one of the most beautiful people on fluther.

Can you give me a couple of example of when you had to sensor yourself @elbanditoroso?

I rarely compliment any woman I don’t know because they might misinterpret it and anyway I am shy.

@flutherother But you have such a great voice. I would love to get a compliment with that Scottish burr.

He looks shy.

Have you guys spoken @janbb?

@Dutchess_III No it was from an old thread where people recorded their voices.

Oh.

@zenvelo Do you compliment a man who is a stranger that gets on the elevator on his haircut, or his cologne, or how well that suit accentuates his figure?
I don’t say much about a man’s hair cut unless really good. I frequently tell a guy how good I think his shoes, tie, suit, watch, beard, etc. is.

Then don’t compliment a woman on the same basis.
Even if I never complimented a man, I have every right to compliment a woman if it is my choice, and I will. ;-)

Strike up a conversation with a woman on the same basis you would with a man. Do that and you won’t get negative feedback.
Do tell? What is to say I wasn’t doing that? I could approach women the exact same way I would a man and some will read into it what is not there.

@Dutchess_III You should have no fear of giving a woman and genuine, polite compliment. We love it.
Well……..not all women agree with you.

@Pandora I remember a young man at a club that once who lightly grabbed my wrist as I was leaving. I paused and looked at him as he quickly let go of my wrist. He said, excuse me but I’ve come to this club many times. I am not trying to hit on you and I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you and that the dress I was wearing looked like it was made for me.
Where you see it as a boon and something to glow about, others would not believe a word of it and be sure he was lying about it.

@janbb I rrreally think you arre a wonderrful perrson . That will have to do for now.

@flutherother Swoon

@Dutchess_III – yes, sure. Just yesterday on a plane trip. Woman sitting next tio me – lovely smile and we had a nice conversation.

As we were disembarking, I said “great talking to you”. I wanted to say “you have a great smile” but I didn’t – because it had to do with a personal, not professional, characteristic.

^^ Holy loss of glacier Batman! The Penguin has gone undercover!

heh! heh!

Hi Janbb! It’s good to see you!