I think your main problem doesn’t really your inability to forgive, but the fact that you aren’t motivated enough. I have seen you ask some question about which jobs to do, how to start learning something… but it seems that you haven’t tried anything yet. You should try to make yourself feel motivated. Think that you are doing all the things just for your own sake. Don’t just sit there wallowing in your thought that you can’t do anything and go try the things we have suggested you before. If you believe in yourself you can do it.
You don’t really need a university. I remember you saying that you don’t get on very well with universities. How about trying to learn yourself? Sometimes self-teaching can be as effective as learning in a university. You know which learning method works best for you and you can control your time and what you learn.
And as for the friend thing, like we’ve said before, get out of your house and do some interaction. Treat people like how you treat us on Fluther. You can’t get a lost relationship back, but at least you can create another relationship.