@longgone I was thinking that, too.
In one of my past relationships, the chores fell to me by default. I’m not a crazy neat freak by any means. If we’re not, like, living in filth with vermin crawling out of food containers, then I’m fine. I clean my room maybe once every three weeks and wash the dishes probably every couple days. It’s kind of like the bare minimum, really.
But with this dude, I had to specifically ask for something to be done, each and every time, if I wanted any help. And I hate to say “help” there, because that makes it sound like it’s my job and he is just assisting. That’s so not right.
Again, I’m a pretty big slob. So it’s not like I was chasing him around to vacuum every day. I just wanted him to at least occasionally do a load of dishes or something. He used to leave wet shower towels on the floor until they got mildewy. He would do that every time unless I picked it up or told him to hang it up, every single day. Honestly, convincing someone to do something is just as big a pain as doing it yourself. If he did something, he would be SO impressed with himself for being such a helpful and considerate boyfriend. When I did everything else, it was just everyday life. There’s a good reason why he’s an ex. Good riddance!
It seems like a lot of modern relationships and this question still have that assumption built into them. It would be amazing to meet someone who pulled 50% of the weight of his own initiative.