If this helps you to laugh a bit more…
Years ago when my marriage was still intact, my wife would occasionally have a bad headache (which we later found was mostly if not wholly the fault of her TMJ problem), and she would describe the pain in the side of her head – to others, often strangers to me – such as, “It feels like CWOTUS whapped me in the side of the head with a frying pan.”
I used to ask her – beg her, plead with her – to please use a different analogy, because although she and I knew for an absolute certainty that I never even raised a hand to her, and I certainly never used implements, and would have been an arrant fool to use her implements, others might not know this. She would toss that off casually as, “It’s just a comparison, it doesn’t mean that you actually did anything. They should know that.”
She really never understood my objection to her phrasing. She’d use it right in front of me, and all I could do was roll my eyes, shake my head and leave the room. That’s when I most wanted to rap her upside the head with a frying pan, to be honest.
Knowing the tenor of many of her conversations and acquaintances, I certainly did not share her faith. I’m sure that a deep background investigation of my character would reveal suspicions of spousal abuse. This is only one of many things that prevents me from running for public office.
PS: Although I would never presume to ask after the condition of the pan, I had to make the assumption from your question that you wanted you to feel better, and not the pan. I can understand @elbanditoroso‘s question.