I will revise my answer.
I completely understand why you think the gift is a slight towards you. Significant changes in gift giving I take that way also. I find it to be pretty passive aggressive if that is indeed what they are doing. Passive aggressive behavior when done enough literally reduces my trust and love for a person. I find it impossible to have a close relationship with someone who employs that bevaior a lot.
Since you mention the spiritual leader thing, I am going to guess they are religious, and they don’t feel you are being the “man” in the family you should be. Screw them. All you need to worry about is that you and your spouse are onnthe same page with your current situation and are working together and supporting each other.
My advice is, ignore them. They disapprove, it doesn’t matter. I understand why it is disturbing, and it probably does affect your marriage a little that your inlaws are judging (I wish it didn’t) but do your best to focus on your wife and not the mishegas and kibbitzing (crazy choas and people giving unwanted advice).
If by any chance you and your wife had bought a house and a big mortgage that even you now also wonder was the right decision, all I can say is, we all learn as we go, and your wife I am sure made the decision with you. So, don’t let your inlaws make you feel like you did something wrong.