@chelle21689: “Are you okay with your partner staying out all night?”
I think the only legitimate answer here is another question: Are you okay with your partner staying out all night? Isn’t that all that matters when it comes to a relationship between two people?
But I can provide my emotional response while reading the details of your question. This is just me, so feel free to ignore. My breathing became shallow and I started to feel a little anxious and claustrophobic. This to me is the textbook example of when people start to get that little voice in their head that repeats, “Run! Get out now!” I would never again be part of a relationship like this. I have, and it took me far too long to learn what was wrong.
My wife and I are old and don’t go out with our friends as often as we used to. But when my wife or I do go out without the other, we do so as an individual. What I mean by this is that my wife and I are individuals who choose to be together because we are best friends, love each other, trust each other, and have made a commitment to each other. If I go out with my friends and I say that I may be back late, she doesn’t wait up for me or call me or require a call from me. She trusts that I am an adult human capable of acting like one. And I assume that she is capable of doing the same. A phone call would only be required if there was an emergency.
I have been in – and I have friends who are currently in – co-dependent, unhealthy relationships where one of the partners feels that when a pair bond is formed, it’s only natural that we lose all individuality and become part of one new “person”. My good friend can be away from her husband for 6 hours and get 6 texts asking about whereabouts in that time. She’s not ok with this – and maybe that’s the most important point. If you and your partner are ok with whatever you have going on there, then be ok with that. But you might want to find out if your partner has “Run! Get out now!” running through his head.