I’m a firm believer in the principle that we teach others how to treat us (by what we allow or refuse to allow ) and I don’t have a problem being quietly assertive and lettingbsomeone know if they’re crossing boundaries.
If someone is grieving a recent death or poor health I generally cut them a bit more slack but I just find it pointless to continue an ongoing relationship with someone who is continuously toxic.
They either need to modify that crap or go dump it on somebody else cuz I’m not up for continuing in that pattern.
In my younger more naive years I used to be the one who felt obligated to help out everybody all the time. Oprah had an interesting name for it: the disease to please.
I have since matured a bit and know how to set boundaries because being a living doormat can become quite exhausting.
Nowadays, even tho I still genuinely enjoy helping people out, I have no problem saying No when necessary (particularly if someone insists on continually taking advantage.)
I just no longer feel the necessity of always being the bigger person like I did when I was younger. Healthy relationships need balance. If someone is incapable of that I have no problem withdrawing from that relationship, permanently if necessary. I wasn’t put on this Earth to be anyones permanent doormat.