I’m somebody who usually understands that conversation is a very sloppy form of communication in which people usually don’t have the necessary time to fully think out what they’re going to say, and therefore they sometimes say less than the ideal thing.

But some people aren’t like this at all. Here’s an example. I got drunk recently and made some jokes that apparently were construed as being mean. I later talked it over with the friend who was offended and he said “it felt like you hate me.”

I don’t understand this. We have 2 years of history of being friends with me treating him just fine. Why does all of this history get nullified in the course of one conversation that he interprets as being mean? Why do some people seemingly forget that we’re friends – I’m on his side in life in general – in the course of a single slip-up? Why do people so quickly jump to the conclusion “you hate me” just because one thing was said wrong, when 1000 previous statements uphold the idea that I in fact really like this person?

Is this making sense at all? Do you know anybody like this? Is it just intense insecurity or something else?