Should I say something to my husband?
He has a friend named Kent (not his real name.) He’s not exactly a best friend, and he’s been a male chauvinist asshole toward me, but we’ve kept up with his life for the last 13 years. I actually met him the first time, before Rick and I got together, because he worked for Cox and he installed my cable on Sept 12, 2001.
Then he became a customer at the shop a year later, and became a friend. Often he would show up at the house unexpectedly and was always welcome. I just made sure to never be alone with him because he’d hit on me.
He and his wife have two kids. Their daughter, Mary, is now 18.
They seperated about 3 years ago, about a year after Kent lost his job with Cox, where he had worked for years and years. But, for some reason his ex has refused to sign the divorce papers, even though she initiated the separation.
Kent went through a series of menial, low paying jobs. His wife/ex wife, is the director at our local hospital. He went from riches to rags. .
Well, yesterday Rick went to the grocery store. When he came home, he came to the room I was in and stood in the doorway. He said, “You know Kent?” I nodded. Of course I know Kent.
Rick said, “He’s dead.”
I threw my hands over my face and turned away. I could feel the tears burning. He wasn’t my favorite person in the world, but still…..
Then, again, really casually, Rick said, “They think it was suicide.” Thinking of the misery that poor guy must have been in didn’t help my tears. But Rick was so…flat lined. I can’t believe he announced it so casually. He’s shown more grief over burning dinner. In fact, I got the impression he was enjoying the shock value.
Apparently he had run into Kent’s ex-wife at the store and she talked for an hour about it.
Then he called another mutual friend of theirs, who he doesn’t talk to very often. He said, “Hi Paul! It’s your long lost brother!” And he busted out laughing. I couldn’t believe that was the way he started a conversation, with a stupid joke and a hearty laugh, when the purpose was to tell him their friend was dead. It was like he couldn’t wait to be the first one to tell him.
Then he spent the rest of the evening, passing along the gossip, given to him by Kent’s wife, about the condition of his house (trashed) and the fact that it was his 18 year old daughter who found him (which is why he didn’t use a gun, because he knew who would find him) and on and on so fucking CASUALLY. It was so STRANGE. I finally asked him to stop.
I have to take into account he comes from a very large family and death is pretty common for him. It isn’t for me, though. Plus his big fat Greek family gossips. God they gossip. The men as well as the women.
I’ve really been wrestling with this. He’s out of town, and I thought about sending him an email, telling him how upset I am.
Should I just let it go, or should I say something?
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