I have a lot, maybe too much,
Sometimes when I drive, always alone,
They all line up, and parade inside my head,
Oh, how I wish I were dead
Occasionally, I’ll find myself screaming,
Screaming at my mind, SHUT UP!
I KNOW WHAT I’VE DONE!
LET ME BE! I know what I’ve done…
Once I had to pull over, the pain was so great,
Regret and hatred raging at my sins,
I stumbled to the tall grass and puked,
Never made it to school that day
I wish I could take it all back,
All the pain I so carelessly caused,
And inside I know I want to cause more,
And inside I know that’s the me that was born
I see him everyday I look in the mirror,
His smug face leering back,
“Come play,” it says patiently,
Like it’s only a matter of time
But would it be best to take it all back?
Because if I never wronged her,
Would I be living, striving to become,
Someone of whom she could be proud?
Doesn’t matter, this is my path now,
No turning back, no turning back,
All I can do is strive… and fear the coming time,
When it and I switch places in the mirror.