@Pied_Pfeffer Ah I see, thanks lol. I don’t really know what my knot is at the moment. I’m feeling pretty lost and just try to handle things day by day. My mother is helping me out financially, but she has also been the cause of some of my problems, so I feel like I’m forced to forget my underlying hatred for her because I need her help.
I haven’t asked anyone for anything the past 10 years, and now I need a lot of help. A few months ago I was sleeping in my car and ran out of money, so for self preservation purposes I finally caved and told my mother what happened because I was so freaking hungry lol. I lost my job because I was late one too many times, although I just got another one. But the debt is too much so there’s not much I can do except work and drink and hope I’ll still be able to be young and full of energy by the time I can actually be happy again.
So I guess my knot is my mother and escaping reality via drugs and alcohol.