I’ve been depressed for too much of my life. I realized it has been caused by 3 major things…
1. Anemia. I had severe anemia for 10 years and that reduces the amount of oxygen in the body, which leads to fatigue. Fatigue leads to the frustration with the inability to accomplish much, which leads to depression. My anemia was caused by my uterus- so there were hormonal imbalances happening there too.
2. Abusive relationships. I obviously don’t want to get into one abusive relationship after another, but that’s what has happened. My mother was cruel, my father disowned/abandoned me at age 7—I realized that when I’m feeling trapped in an abusive relationship, it’s draining, it’s discouraging and causes abject depression.
3. Self abuse. I am very hard on myself, quite vicious really. So, when I make a mistake that I feel didn’t need to be made, then the mental self-flagellation sets in. It’s awful—a bad habit and something I have to consciously avoid.
And with all 3, I slept. Anemia made me legitimately tired, but I also slept to escape abuse. I’m really good at lucid dreaming, and that world became addictive. Now when I am in around healthy people and not beating on myself, I never need extra sleep.