Feeling like you do is difficult. You are allowed to have feelings. I think the difference is that you are aware that this person is married. And older. They may be someone who, at this point in your life, seems to have the perfect looks, or is ( because this is gym ) really good in a sport or area that you enjoy, you love being in their class! Maybe even because they are a really nice person to everyone. Listens to you. This teacher is probably a fun teacher also!
But.
The teacher stops being this person you enjoy being around, when they leave the building to go home. They have a life, and a family, maybe even little kids. The person goes into their own life and it’s hard to see through these strong feelings you have, that sometimes, you make up a “what if” life. It’s something you would love to see -yourself inside of the “what if” dream with them. But in reality, it just won’t work.
Do you ever go to the movies? That is kind of what happens in your mind when you see a great movie. Or lose yourself in a great book. You feel a part of it. You think about it. You think about one of the characters- or the actor who plays the character you like. You know people with crushes on an actor, athletes, musicians, etc.
But the movie-it ends, the lights go up, you get up and leave the theater and go back into reality. Your life. That’s kinda what happens with these romantic feelings you’re having.
Now, having feelings about someone whom you know, and understand that it just cannot be, doesn’t make your feelings stop, it just makes you feel more miserable. Just great- now you feel worse!
People have different feelings and reactions all of their lives. You can be an ‘adult’ and still have a crush, or have strong feelings for someone you may work with, or know from someplace out. Wow. You have a family or are set up in your life as an adult, but there is a difference. The difference between really having feelings for someone- and then deciding on whether to act on them or not. It’s usually…. not.
I think you’ve got a better sense of what is right and what would not be good or positive for you. Do you know that there are some adults that don’t have the sense that you already practice? Seriously. Older sometimes doesn’t mean wiser!
But you’ve got the jump on right or wrong. Good for you!
So you have this teacher. You like their class, you LIKE them! Just chill. You can think or feel like you could see you two together, but not act upon it.
It will get better. I promise. At some point this year, you may see this person be mean to someone, or pick their nose! And then, all of a sudden- you don’t know why you liked them in the first place at all! Euw. Boogers!
Then someone else will catch your attention and they seem nice. And there your heart goes again!
It’s what happens as you get older and change. Things begin to feel a lot better. It gets easier to have all the bombarding thoughts. But some of them- your brain might just say ” Uhm, no. Thank you. I’ve been down this road before! I’ll pass!”
You’re doing fine.
It’ll get better.
A word of caution! Do not get all ‘gooey’ towards this teacher when you talk to them! Classmates are around you. They will give you grief. Yep. A lot. Trust me. ( life lesson # 23 )
Also, don’t make the teacher feel uncomfortable around you. Remember: they are doing their job. They have another life set up outside. Just like you do…..
Hang in there.
You are smarter than a lot of other people.
Your common sense is worth trusting!
It’ll all be ok. You’re ok.
Take care.