I understand completely your inability to hover over this question. Hopefully, you’re getting attention from a therapist while you are there. The important thing is to utilize their resouces in order to get to the root of your depression and the triggers to your lapses. Subdue the understandable anger you may have for the measures taken thus far. Subdue it for now, address it later. Once the staff perceives that you are more interested in solving your problem, they will see this as progress and your conditions will improve. I sincerely wish you a happier life. It’s worth living.
About static pneumonia and breathing properly: Most people don’t breathe properly and their bodies hardly ever get adequately oxygenated. Oxygen in the system improves and enhances, among many other things, chemical reactions throughout the body, most importantly the brain. It improves quick thinking, memory, mood and perspective. A simple, effective exercise a person with a sedentary lifestyle (which you are probably living at the moment) that one can do is to take ten slow, very deep breaths every morning when you awake and again before going to sleep. Initially you my feel energized, but within a short time your system will calm and you will get a better night’s sleep.
If you’re interested in the benefits of breathing, go on line and look for Yoga breathing techniques. Ujjayi is excellent for relief in peak moments of stress we today call meltdowns. It is now being used successfully by some mainstream therapists in cases of severe PTSD. Ten years ago I was on a research team at a VA hospital that introduced this technique into the care plans of young combat veterans that qualified as severe PTSD victims. Empirical evidence, such as stress-and-recovery tests, blood draws for hormones, recorded incidents of acting out—all showed remarkable improvement in a very short time. Ujjaiyi also is used pro-actively to relieve built-up stress, anxiety, and is shown to improve self esteem. I have no idea really how it works and don’t consider it necessary to study 5,000 years of yogic tradition in order to do so. Ujjaiyi expirations can be rather loud, so you may want to let your staff know what you’re up to before you start. They also may be impressed that you are searching for ways to help yourself.
Once you are no longer restrained at night, here is a very effective technique for relief of insomnia which I have often used with great success. I am a lifelong insomniac—I have an extremely active brain which I consider an asset—and I refuse to be medicated for it. Most yoga breathing is simple, effective, natural, and best of all, it’s free.
Good luck melaniehill. Please let us know how things are going. It seems I am not the only one here interested in your situation. This a good community. I’m glad you landed here.