Why don’t you do things that make you stronger so that you are stronger and reward yourself for doing those things?
We are taught to not punish the children in our care, but to reward good behaviour. Don’t get me wrong, there are still tactics we have to use in some of the most trying cases. A child will have them and their chair removed from the table at meal time if they persist in doing something they have already been told not to. If they harm another child, they have to listen to us tell them it was a bad choice and that they made the other child cry while making eye contact and then apologise. The most improvement comes when we praise the same kids when we catch them doing something good. I’ve seen huge changes in a child’s ability to socialise and play with their peers using these techniques. They respond to positive reinforcement. Every time we have to intervene in conflict or chide a child, we have to work even harder to build those kids up with positive reinforcement.
No body improves their natural behaviour by being punished all the time. This has been proven in study after study, not just with children but in work environments with adults too. It builds confidence, self esteem, empathy, friendships. These all build up a person’s ability to improve their executive function so they can drive their lives themselves and not be constantly told what to do or be picked back up after they take a nosedive so hard that they’ve lost their jobs, their relationships. their cars….
Being taught self-awareness is also a big help, especially for those with personalities and thought processes that are hard-wired and where empathy and executive function come less automatic, like autistic people, DS, sociopathy, borderline personality disorders. They have to be taught self awareness in addition to build executive function and the earlier that starts with someone with, say, autism (when possible) the more tools they will build to help them deal with the challenges in life.