Yes. I realized that I was fooling myself about the what the other person and the relationship were like. I don’t want to be in the actual relationship with the actual person, because the reality was they weren’t really committed to me or to the relationship the way I really want. Without her commitment, I don’t want the relationship either. So it suddenly went from “oh no!” drama, to just “oh… I see, ok.” Such a relief. Happened overnight, when I had a flash and it sunk in.
With variations, I’ve seen something like that with each relationship I was upset wasn’t working. It was always that I’d gotten attached to an idea of the relationship and/or person that wasn’t what was really there. Once I realized that, poof – ok, no problem. Can still want a good relationship with someone who really will be great, and now I know it’s not that person I was hoping it was, which is just a mistaken ID on my part, not a loss of something real that was actually what I wanted.