Sure- as long as you take a breath and and just open to some ideas from a different perspective.
You are making a decision for reading material for another. You have discussed certain good reads. Novels and a few non-fiction selections. That is what she selected out of all.
Who made the decision on giving her books about death? Did she ask for such?
Those who are surrounded by fate and the thoughts of their life experiences are extraordinarily aware of the inevitable. You can’t get out of this world alive- unless you are an astronaut. But the astronauts return. If something is an enjoyable and life-long love, why would you try to force a subject in one of her areas of freedom from what is- by bringing the subject of death up in her form of escapism and pleasure? Because you decided what she should feel, face and accept? And Now?
Why don’t you have someone come over to speak with her, personally? If she wishes to talk, or deal with the subject, it is still her call – not yours.
Reading is a form of self-preservation, a saving grace, a way to see a world that the author has created. There is no better gift, for some. I, not knowing the woman, am guessing that she viewed reading materials in the same way. I love books, so I chose to work in a public library for a bit to see what it held. What could be better? Xanadu!
However, if I were cataloging in ‘new reads’ , or walking the isles shelving, I pick what I fancy to glance at, thumb through, etc. That is the beauty of it all. She doesn’t have the ability to even do this beloved task for herself anymore.
Now. Let’s say that a person is following her around while she was choosing some new reading materials. This person walks up and starts to decide what she can/cannot, should/should not pick to read. (That would be disappointing having to stop doing so yourself , but you are grateful to receive your beloved books, however it may occur.) Then this person helping suddenly says what materials subject matter should be included, because it would be of “benefit” her? Why would they insist that she read a book on subjects that she either has absolutely no interest in, or others which she does not care to read? A book on statistics or on pruning Bonsai Trees may be all that for some…. but not all.
So many assume they know what is best. It is a nice kind gesture to do for her. Instead of what she would love goes to what ‘should be done’, etc.. It happens more as you age or grow ill. But this one area? Why so?
If you wish to learn about death, how to accept it, how it will feel, where you will go or stop, or how does it feel when you go through the steps of what happens after someone passes- then You read it. Why force it upon her in one of her favorite pastimes? Can she have no quarter left to enjoy without the subject intruding in on that also?
She is facing something that is on her mind 24/7. It even fills the dreams; a failing body, loss of eyesight, losing hearing, a vigorous stamina that helped get one going every day of their life, is fading. A great question lies ahead. She’s aware of it. Trust me.
You come and help, but the minute you walk back out that door and get into your car- you are already thinking of other things. In your life. What’s for dinner. Gotta pay this bill. I’m exhausted, perhaps a nap before fixing… and so on. That’s human nature.
But you left someone who doesn’t leave, or have other things going on. They are still in it. The end is coming- no matter how they feel. She’s not going to worry about what she is leaving behind. Other things come up at the end. It’s her. Everyone has their own.
So why make her face something now that again, you feel she should be reading? To prepare herself for facing? She’s facing it now. On her terms. She’s there.
A sweet, possibly the best in the world-work of words, will not fix what is happening.
Let her have her beloved escape without what you want tied in.
If the message you want gets scrambled- what if she believes that you are tired of the extra effort? Or that she is a burden? They do that sometimes. “Are they waiting for me to die- or want me to hurry it up?” You don’t know if what the message you believe that you should be sending out will be received and perceived as you wish.
Please let her have her lifelong passion to go on with materials that she asked for- not what is deemed as appropriate for her for facing her own life.
A different perspective.
Food for thought.
You do what is best for your beloved.