Oh, do I.
When my son was a little over a year old, he was acting like any rambunctious toddler, and climbing all over the furniture.
Somehow, he bounced on the couch and flew, head-first, straight into the fish tank.
This is that fish tank
Water is gushing out of the tank, fish are flopping around on the ground, and Ian is standing in the middle of the living room just staring at me looking like Carrie at the prom, covered in blood.
I assessed him quickly – small head wound (they always bleed a lot). He was alert, responsive, pupils fine. No major damage immediately visible. I scooped the fish into a big bowl, vowed to clean up the water later, and packed Ian into the car. On the way to the Urgent Care center I called Hubby and left a message saying where we were going and ask him not to freak out about the hardwood floors. I’m sure he was very confused.
The docs looked at him. Tiny scratch in between his eyebrows. Too small for stitches. No glass. They superglued the wound shut and sent us away, insisting there was no really good reason to x-ray him.
About a year and a half later, Ian managed to shove a tiny Lego up his nose so far I couldn’t get it. I went in to the urgent care center and a nurse looks at him and says… “FISHTANK BOY?!?”
And we laughed and laughed and held him down with five people and dug out the lego.
TJBM has a foreign object story.