Well, narcissism is self-love. My brother has actually been diagnosed with narcissistic tendencies, and believe me, posting selfies is not a symptom one should worry about. Narcissism is delusional behaviour: Believing you’re the greatest writer you’ve ever read (even when you objectively aren’t even good), the best musician that’s ever played an instrument (even though you’ve never taken a lesson or composed a song), or that you’re the person best capable of choosing a potential mate for your ex-partner, and get violently angry when they don’t take your advice.
A narcissist doesn’t give one shit about how much other people like them, because their opinion is the most important one, and they like themselves just fine.
Any normal person wants to be accepted by their social group. They want to be seen as attractive and capable. It’s our animal gregarious behaviour conflicting with the expectations of modern society. “Be perfect and acceptable, but don’t let anyone think you’re trying to be perfect or hoping for acceptance” “If you have to ask whether you’re cool you never will be” “Be thin and pretty but if you’re fat at the gym or wearing too much makeup we’ll ridicule you”.
Flattery is important, to an extent. Because of all the negative stuff that’s out there, it’s really important to hear something positive from people you care about. If I’m feeling really good about the way I look one day, I’ll snap a selfie, and post it as my profile picture (the one here is a fairly recent-ish one). Now, I was only feeling good about my makeup application skills when I took this picture. My hair hadn’t been dyed in months and my roots were showing, hadn’t done my eyebrows in ages… but that contouring was on point. After putting it on Facebook I got a ton of comments – not about my makeup, but about how clear and pretty my eyes were, the softness of my expression, that it was even a bit sexy. Considering it’s literally just my face, the same too-young-for-my-age, oily-but-dry, weird-forehead-wrinkled face with adult acne issues that I stare at every day, it felt really good to hear/read/whatever someone appreciate my face just for being my face.
We give ourselves so much shit all the time. Our friends are there to remind us of what we should like about ourselves and that it’s ok to like yourself.