I don’t think he’s effeminate or not effeminate, he’s just guy for whom I have a lot of respect.

I don’t understand why that would hurt your feelings.

No, I don’t agree with her.

Tom Hanks? Wow, your daughter is a bit harsh if judging T Hanks effeminate.

@canidmajor I’m not sure why. Maybe because I’m so crazy about Tom? And she sort of slammed him.

Not at all. This guy is.

Ha! I thought for sure that link was going to be Tom Hanks in his t v role as a guy dressed like a woman. I forget the name of the show now.

Someone poisoned the water hole.

@Jak -here you go.

That’s it!

I don’t think Tom Hanks is effeminate, but I also don’t take being called effeminate as an insult. P.S. Tom Hanks is from my hometown! (Well, -ish.)

I don’t think he’s effeminate. Maybe she likes tough guys which he is not one of. She might like guys who kick ass and slap people around and curse a lot. He’s not that type of guy. He’s just a regular guy. Not an effeminate man either, just an average type of guy.

No I don’t agree. Is she one of those women expecting to be slapped around?

I don’t see Tom as effeminate but honestly, I think his actor-son Colin is.

Is that even supposed to be an insult? What, she doesn’t like women?

Wasn’t there some rumour about a gay erotic massage bar or something? Maybe that’s where she’s getting it.

Either way, nah, I wouldn’t call him effeminate at all. Not particularly macho, but one need not be Jason Statham to be masculine.

@Pachy omg, totes. have you seen him in Fargo?

I would not describe him as effeminate. Although, he is sort of a “pretty boy.” It’s the sweetness about him and his smile I think. My husband is very much like Tom Hanks. How they look and behave. I sometimes say my husband is a “pretty boy” when with gay friends or family and they are commenting on him being cute.

I don’t feel effeminate and gay are synonymous. Some people seem to be using the words that way. Also, we sometimes joke you can confuse European style with gay or effeminate. Kind of that metrosexual look.

Are you sure she didn’t mean Tom Cruise?

There have been gay rumors about Tom Cruise for as long as I can remember.

Well, I don’t know Mr. Hanks personally – who does? So I have no way to judge even if I wanted to. He’s an actor. We mostly “know” him as we do from the roles he plays. It’s true that most of his acting roles do not call for him to be a “man’s man” type of action hero, à la Arnold, Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, etc. Most of his roles have called for a calm, considerate, thoughtful and intelligent persona.

If that’s what it takes to be called “effeminate”, then call me effeminate, too.

I dare ‘ya.

No. I don’t find him effeminate. I’m not sure why it should bother anyone if he is. Lots of very sexy men have an effeminate quality to them. Look at many of the world’s lead singers of rock bands.

If he is effeminate I am some sort of vaginal black-hole.

edit :: and I like the ladies…

So, if we’re going to go down traditional gender lines…. Here he is in some stereotypically masculine roles. That last one especially, he could hardly be called effeminate.

He strikes me as sensitive and compassionate—human qualities traditionally assigned to “feminine”—I’m assuming that’s what she’s seeing as “effeminate” ... but effeminite has this connotation of “weakness” which saddens me; why associate an entire gender, or a whole swath of strong, empathetic characteristics with being “weak”?... I think compassion and sensitivity are rather attractive qualities regardless the person’s sex…

Gentle, placid yes, effeminate, no I don’t think so.

He’s not at all effeminate whatever that means. If you mean the roles he chooses then he’s done some pretty burly man kind of movies. Show her Saving Private Ryan and Castaway. He played a 13 year old boy pretty effortlessly in Big in 1988 too. Hardly effeminate. Not to mention Captain Philips.