As someone who has been on the receiving end thrice, thank you for considering where to have it delivered. Here is my thought process when faced with this situation:
1. What would the deceased want? If the request was for donations to go to a specific charity, it should be considered first.
2. Flowers and plants are for the survivors. What would be more meaningful to them? A bouquet that can be displayed at the funeral service and/or at their home? Maybe they prefer to keep it simple.
3. Where to send it? My recommendation is to send whatever arrangement that is decided upon to the survivor’s home. It’s one less thing to deal with after the service. If they want it displayed there, they’ll make the arrangements.
On a personal note, when Dad died ~25 years ago, two friends of the family sent plants, despite his request for monetary donations to specific charities in lieu of flowers. Mom loved the plants and took care of them. When she passed away two years ago, they were requested by and given to immediate family members. They are a living testament of two nature lovers who meant a great deal to us.